I want to challenge all of us with a question: Why are we so good at being kind to the people we love, but not to ourselves?
Whenever a friend calls me to vent, to talk through a mistake, or to self-criticize, I am always prepared with an arsenal of compassionate phrases:
“It’s important that you aren’t so hard on yourself.” “You are not a bad person.” “It wasn’t a mistake – it was a learning lesson.” “You are an amazing person, and you will grow from this.”
I soothe, I comfort, I take away blame. I remind them of their worth. I encourage them to accept responsibility for what could be better, and at the same time to remember that it is okay to be human. I tell them that, in every situation that seems black and white, there inevitably is always color.
And yet, when the roles are reversed, and it is my turn to feel the weight of an error, the cut of an insecurity, or the (completely normal) wetness of tears triggered by the overwhelm of figuring out life, I only view my world through that black and white lens. I spend hours – sometimes days – mentally punishing myself for even the slightest mistake, without leaving any room to let the light of Grace in. By not giving myself compassion, I limit my ability to create balance, and my world becomes even more colorless.
Many of you may probably identify with this. How do we find that healthy balance of trying to create our best journeys while simultaneously finding the right salves that can quickly smooth the inevitable internal bumps and bruises that appear along the way?
This story is from the March 20201 edition of Heartfulness eMagazine.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the March 20201 edition of Heartfulness eMagazine.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
WHO SHOULD I BE?
SARA BUBBER brings us a story based on the famous Japanese tale \"The Stonecutter,\" followed by a fun coloring activity from the story.
Being Funny
BO JOHNSON is interviewed by SURAJ SEHGAL about being a stand-up comedian, the humanity behind humor, and the nerves around how it will be received. He also reminds us why we need humor more than ever before.
Salt: A Culinary Staple with a Rich History in India
SRAVAN BANDA is a Ph.D. scholar in Biophilia and Wetlands, and Commodore KAMLESH KUMAR is CMD of Hindustan Salts Ltd. Here, they share the history of one of the most important condiments we use in our food-salt!
Connecting with Life
VASCO GASPAR asks us to explore how we can become truly alive. Like Einstein, he invites us to remove the delusion of separateness and connect with the whole. He challenges us to move from \"ego to eco,\" and gives us the tools to manifest the world of the Heart.
A Note on Love
TEJESHWAR SINGH shares his perspective on the nature and nuances of love.
LIVING VOICE
MERETE NØRGAARD is in dialogue with EMILIE MOGENSEN. Through her company, Living Voice (www.livingvoice.dk), Merete works with leaders and communicators, helping them become better speakers, strengthen their voices, and achieve authentic leadership. Her book, The Magic of the Voice, is a guide to understanding the voice as an instrument and a muscle to be trained.
Faster and Shallower
DR. ICHAK ADIZES explores how the speed and depth of our activities impact the quality of the work we do and the lives we lead. What message do you take from his thoughts, and what do you feel?
HOW YOGA REGENERATES US
SAT BIR SINGH KHALSA is interviewed by VICTOR KANNAN about research and the applications of yoga in modern life. Dr. Khalsa has been an instructor of Kundalini Yoga since 1973, and conducted research on yoga since 2001 on insomnia, chronic stress, anxiety-related disorders, and in workplace and public school settings. He is medical editor of the Harvard Medical School Special Report, Introduction to Yoga, and chief editor of the medical textbook, The Principles and Practice of Yoga in Health Care.
The Secret to Change: TAKE IT MINUTE BY MINUTE
MAMATA SUBRAMANYAM reflects on her own processes of change, and realizes that there is an easier way to move forward-one that doesn't involve self-recrimination and instant gratification. She explores incremental change, minute by minute, embracing the messy process that goes with it, and sets herself a brighter vision for how to live her life.
A DIY Guide to Well-Being
ICHHA BHAN is a counselor and life coach with an interest in positive change, resilience, and transformation. By helping people connect with their authentic selves and unlock their potential, she is on a mission to empower and inspire others on their wellness journey.