I want to challenge all of us with a question: Why are we so good at being kind to the people we love, but not to ourselves?
Whenever a friend calls me to vent, to talk through a mistake, or to self-criticize, I am always prepared with an arsenal of compassionate phrases:
“It’s important that you aren’t so hard on yourself.” “You are not a bad person.” “It wasn’t a mistake – it was a learning lesson.” “You are an amazing person, and you will grow from this.”
I soothe, I comfort, I take away blame. I remind them of their worth. I encourage them to accept responsibility for what could be better, and at the same time to remember that it is okay to be human. I tell them that, in every situation that seems black and white, there inevitably is always color.
And yet, when the roles are reversed, and it is my turn to feel the weight of an error, the cut of an insecurity, or the (completely normal) wetness of tears triggered by the overwhelm of figuring out life, I only view my world through that black and white lens. I spend hours – sometimes days – mentally punishing myself for even the slightest mistake, without leaving any room to let the light of Grace in. By not giving myself compassion, I limit my ability to create balance, and my world becomes even more colorless.
Many of you may probably identify with this. How do we find that healthy balance of trying to create our best journeys while simultaneously finding the right salves that can quickly smooth the inevitable internal bumps and bruises that appear along the way?
I imagine that the forced isolation of a global pandemic has exacerbated this for many of us. We have all spent nearly a year attempting to wade forward through uncertainty, while at the same time we see the need to face ourselves and our shortcomings that need work. Marry all of this with physical distancing, lots of global uncertainty, and the usual myriad of day-to-day stresses, and it becomes even clearer that the need for both balance and selfcompassion is at an ultimate high.
Continue reading your story on the app
Continue reading your story in the magazine
UNITY IN A WORLD OF DIVERSITY
BRIAN JONES explores unity in a world full of challenges and diversity. Through different analogies and his own personal experience with meditation, he finds effective ways to achieve unity through the silence of the heart.
DR. ZACH BUSH is a renowned, multi-disciplinary physician and educator on the microbiome as it relates to human health, the environment, and our interconnected future. Here he extends this worldview into the spiritual realm and the field of consciousness, so as to co-create a sustainable and regenerative future for all of us, and understand the role of humanity in the greater scheme of things.
Women & Spirituality
Mirabai Bush is the author of Working With Mindfulness, co-creator of Google’s “Search Inside Yourself” program, cofounder of the Center for Contemplative Mind and Society and a founding board member of the Seva Foundation. She teaches contemplative practices, and has facilitated retreats, workshops and courses on spirit and action for over 20 years. To commemorate International Women’s Day, Mirabai spoke with Purnima Ramakrishnan on March 6, 2021.
Katara McCarty – Exhale
Katara McCarty is the source and inspiration for Exhale, a well-being App for Black, Indigenous, and Women of Color. In December 2020, she was interviewed by Mamata Venkat about her life-long journey creating resources for some of the most marginalized people in society, and her approach to spirituality.
What is Success?
Dr. Ichak Adizes shares what true success really means and what is needed to find success in everything we do.
The Ber Tree
V. RAMAKANTHA, Ph.D., is a former Indian Forest Service officer and member of the Green Initiative at the international Heartfulness Center, Kanha Shanti Vanam, India. Having spent most of his working life living in forests and jungles, in tune with the natural world, he shares his knowledge about some of the amazing medicinal plants of India, in this case the Ber Tree.
Decision-Making versus Implementation
DR. ICHAK ADIZES explores the different qualities and skills needed to make a decision and then to implement it – when to be open-minded and when to be closed-minded, and how to find a common interest so that all stakeholders can work together to implement a decision.
THE ZERO BALANCING POINT
JANMARIE CONNOR explores some practical ways to create harmony and balance where there is tension, conflict and disagreement. How can polar opposites coexist?
Feeling, Sensitivity and Consciousnes
ROS PEARMAIN, Ph.D., has been integrating the fields of psychology, psychotherapy and spirituality, through both practical and philosophical approaches, for over 40 years. Here she explores the way a spiritual practice opens up the levels of feeling and sensitivity, as we expand into deeper and deeper levels of consciousness, and how our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual bodies are integrated through the heart.
Creating Balance FINDING YOUR COLORS AMIDST THE BLACK AND WHITE
MAMATA VENKAT opens up about the challenge of finding selfcompassion and self-acceptance in a world of judgment and criticism. She also offers 10 tips from her own experience about how to cultivate a self-nurturing approach to life.
Roe v. Wade on the Line
The Supreme Court opens the door to a reversal on abortion, stoking the culture wars
DIVORCING De NIRO: ROMANCE IS BULL!
Swears off women as he accuses wife of spending him into the poorhouse
De NIRO & EX SLUG IT OUT IN DIVORCE DOUGH DRAMA
Aging acting icon tired of 24/7 grind to pay Grace’s bills
Bindi Using New Baby To Build Empire!
Crocodile kid Bindi Irwin and hubby Chandler Powell plan to build a worldwide business empire based on their newborn daughter, Grace, insiders tell GLOBE!
ELVIS PRESLEY DEATH MYSTERY SOLVED!
The King was killed by a brain injury, not drugs or heart attack
Twenty nine-year-old Florence LaDue laid on her back in the middle of a rodeo arena in Alberta, Canada, twirling a lasso. It was July 1910 and the crowd in the stands watching her work were cheering and whistling. The trick the petite cowgirl was preparing to do was to throw a wide loop over a rider and his horse as they galloped by.
Grace Cathedral Fosters Inclusivity and Healing through Yoga
Before Covid-19 shuttered the city, on any given Tuesday in downtown San Francisco, hundreds of mat-toting yogis streamed up Nob Hill in droves to converge at the historic Grace Cathedral, a midcentury Episcopalian church the size of a football field where, in 1965, nearly 5,000 people gathered—spilling out into the streets—to hear a sermon from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
Chris Mower of White Stable Farms discovered the Japanese style of gardening in Italy. Now, he’s bringing it to St. Louis.
PRISCILLA HAUNTED BY FAMILY'S GHOSTS!
Now Elvis’ ex-wife is hoping they’ll all finally find peace
Gangsters Up North
Was Capone in Leelanau County? Did Dillinger hide out on Bois Blanc Island? Did the Purple Gang dance until dawn at the Graceland Ballroom in Lupton? Using interviews, local newspaper accounts, land records and internet resources, Michigan author Robert Knapp carefully sorts truth from myth in “Gangsters Up North: Mobsters, Mafia, and Racketeers in Michigan’s Vacationlands.” The following are excerpts from Knapp’s historical non-fiction book.