Why these letter-writers are learning ‘sexy English'

In the age of virtual dating, some still declare their love through handwritten letters

- Sharmila Ganesan

There’s Victorian English, Simple English, Shashi Tharoor English and then, there’s Sexy English. So far, Anubhav Ankit was fluent in the first three versions of the coloniser’s language but recently discovered that last salacious genre on the job. A young man from middle India had called him with a confusing demand. “Bhai ko love letter likhvana hai,” the voice said, asking for a friend. “Sexy English mein. Padhke mazaa ana chahiye.”

Forget dating app surveys and relationship experts. For a clinical insight into the unflattened curve of love in the time of corona, look up the ascending business graphs of firms such as Ankit’s The Indian Handwritten Letter Company and Oyehappy that — like the postmen of yore — have been busy drafting mails on behalf of young and restless India, albeit for a price.

A peek over the shoulders of their busy writers — whose words cost upwards of Rs 3 each — will show you why handcrafted letters trump artisanal cupcakes as gifts in the era of social distancing. Video call fatigue has conspired with the analog romance of longhand to cause an unprecedented exchange of the written word, chiefly between long-distance couples, pining family members and a curious microcosm of bitter women who like to end relationships with cursive cuss words.