Time To Pay Bill, PM

Boris must not bail as we count cost of Covid

I can't remember who said it first, but there’s no truer test of character than when the bill comes.

We’ve all been there. Restaurant. Group of friends. Nice dinner. The bill gets put on the table and the world splits into two.

The first set of characters want to share the bill. No question. £100 is £20 each and a bit for the tip. Easy. The second set get the calculators out.

That’s when you start to hear things like: “I only had the soup,” “I wasn’t drinking,” or “But I gave you one of my prawns.”

Austerity

Do not – and I say this through experience – order another coffee while you’re waiting or you risk throwing their whole calculation/ negotiation off and starting the whole process again.

Terrible, really. We have a word for them where I’m from: Lancastrians.