SO WHO'S TELLING PORKIES?

ARE WE RUNNING OUT OF HEAT AND MEAT? THE PRIME MINISTER.. Don’t panic! I do not believe people will be short of food ..AND THE EXPERTS Panic stations! We’ll have major food problems until next year. Are these two talking meatballs? DOUBT OVER END TO CRISIS

- JERRY LAWTON

PM Boris “Bozo” Johnson has told us not to worry about putting food on our tables… just as all the experts tell us to worry about putting food on our tables. Who to believe, eh?

BRITS wondered who to believe last night as Boris “Bozo” Johnson claimed he had cured the meat crisis – while farm chiefs warned of shortages to next year.