Survivors Deserve Good Sex, Too

So much of the conversation around survivors excludes pleasure. A group of trauma-focused sex educators are working to change that.

- Cameron Glover

As the cultural dialogue around sex ed evolves, people are demanding sex education that encompasses all experiences—even the violent, traumatizing ones. The rise of the #MeToo movement has brought about a new cultural narrative surrounding how we discuss sexual violence, but when survivors seek support to reintegrate pleasure and sex in their lives, who is capable of best supporting them?

That’s where trauma-informed sexuality professionals come in.

Being a trauma-informed sexuality professional is an incredibly vital niche within the field and one that a growing number of professionals are embracing. But what does that balance of self-care and caring for others—especially in such a heavy niche—actually look like? I spoke with two trauma-informed sexuality professionals about their work, and why survivors of violence need sexuality professionals to support them.

What does it mean to be a trauma-informed sexuality professional?

For Sarah Brynn Holliday, a sexuality speaker and writer who works with survivors on healing and pleasure after trauma, it is understanding there are many ways trauma can affect sex and pleasure. “We’re often led to believe sexual violence is the sole trauma that impacts our relationships with our bodies, our sexualities, ourselves and our partners, but trauma is broad,” Holliday says.

“Chronic illness, death of a loved one or an abuser, pregnancy loss, religious trauma, systemic and historical violence and oppression, mass trauma, and generational trauma all have an effect on how we experience sex and pleasure,” Holliday explains. “Being a trauma-informed sexuality professional means creating and facilitating space for survivors to explore those complexities and intricacies of trauma—and what it means to heal.”