From experience, once you reach a certain age social gatherings have a pattern of predictability. The preamble, usually with glass in hand, engages with an unspectacular icebreaker: “Tell me, what do you do?” Not wishing to offend these professionals too much, “I’m in IT, HR” or any other job that can be similarly abbreviated can often make the follow-up line somewhat challenging. On the other hand, as a cop I was often interrogated following the utterance of the less than convincing address, “My friend got done for [whatever].” I kind of guessed that in all probability it was they who had been pulled for the misdemeanor in question and one thing was for certain, they would rarely provide a full and unbiased account.
Once I had obtained my qualifying law degree a friend bizarrely introduced me as his barrister, stretching my legal standing way beyond the realms of reality. At a barbeque, on the way to getting well and truly pissed, a guy once asked if I had studied property law. It was one of the compulsory modules and I loved a bit of trespass, however, when he departed momentarily, only to return with the deeds of his house, seeking advice on ownership of a sliver of land between his and the adjoining property, I knew I needed a future-proof escape plan. Subsequently, thanks to a letter in Readers Digest, I acquired my get-out-of-jail-free card if ever I wanted a quiet evening: “I’m into scaffolding.” The ultimate assassin of all future discussion.
This story is from the April 2021 edition of FHM Magazine South Africa.
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This story is from the April 2021 edition of FHM Magazine South Africa.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
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