A former pro reveals the dilemma every NFL player confronts: Now that I’m here, what do I do next?
It was getting close to midnight on Sept. 2, 2008, when I noticed a billboard for DeVry University’s College of Business and Management from the back seat of a town car. My Nike duffel bag, stuffed with a couple of weeks’ worth of shorts and T-shirts, rested on my lap. My hands were stacked on it, supporting my cheek as I looked out the window. I was headed from the Atlanta airport to my new home, an extended-stay hotel in Flowery Branch, Georgia.
The day before, the Monday after our final preseason game, I was sitting in the DBs meeting room to hear the Week 1 game plan when someone poked his head in: “Fox, they need you upstairs.” I had spent the first three years of my career with the Broncos. Now I was being traded to the Falcons at the start of my fourth season—my contract year, the most important season in my life.
A day later, I boarded the plane. Over the course of that three-hour flight, an internal voice that had never risen above a whisper took center stage.
What the f--- just happened?
If I don’t ball this season, I will be the least attractive free agent. I’m a union leader, a headache who hasn’t distinguished himself as a player. Why bother when you could get a quiet rookie for less of a cap hit?
And besides: How the hell am I going to shine on this s----y team? They went 4–12 last season. Vick was in jail. Petrino quit. I wasn’t there for training camp, so I am at the bottom of the depth chart. I may not even get on the field.
This is the beginning of the end.
I’ll be out of the league next season.
What is this game doing to my body and brain?
What am I going to do next?
This story is from the September 10, 2018 edition of ESPN The Magazine.
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This story is from the September 10, 2018 edition of ESPN The Magazine.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
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