You Deserve Your Dream
Transformation Magazine|September 2019
From early ages, many of us have dreamed, fantasized, and painted enchanting pictures on our ceiling of success in our most passionate pursuits.
Noelle Sterne

It’s writing for me, fashion design for my cousin, chess master for her son, Yankees’ shortstop for her other son, first cellist in international symphony for my niece. Every Little League kid dreams of Yankee pinstripes and the Hall of Fame. Every musician dreams of rock (or Philharmonic) stardom and millions. Every actor dreams of dramatic discovery, constant lead roles, adulation, and Oscars. Every writer dreams of bestsellers, big money, movie adaptations, appearances on national TV, and induction into the Kindle Million Club.

Some of us make it. And most of us don’t. Why? Sure, we must work enough, practice enough, pursue enough, and concentrate enough. But there’s another crucial reason—we must feel we deserve our Dream.

DO YOU FEEL YOU DON’T DESERVE YOUR DREAM?

If you feel you don’t deserve your Dream, no matter how much time and sweat you put in, how many movers and shakers you know, how many “lucky” breaks you have, or how gorgeous (or outrageous) you are, you will torpedo yourself. Louise Hay reminds us, “When we have strong beliefs that we don’t deserve, we have problems doing what we want” (The Power Is Within You, p. 164).

Despite countless queries and pitches, I felt undeserving of writing success for a long time. The mounting frustrations forced me, finally, to recognize some of the red lights that kept me gridlocked. See if and how they apply to you.

• Do you feel a vague sense of guilt when you’re doing what you really want to?

• When you’ve just settled down to create, do you suddenly remember you absolutely must go get the car washed or clean out the refrigerator?

• When you’ve marked out the whole afternoon for your project, do you suddenly feel nausea, headaches, dizziness?

Admit these signs of nondeserving. Your shifty unconscious has just dispatched the guilt gestapo to subvert your creativity and stifle your Dream.

Unfortunately, our culture keeps this squad on active duty, especially for women. Mothers are notorious for taking the raggedy heel of the bread, serving everyone else the perfect wedges of pie, and scraping the dregs for their plate. Wives are notorious for putting offtheir Dreams until their husbands have established their careers, children have grown, elderly parents have been cared for, and church has served its last supper.

As if these societal expectations aren’t enough to keep us trussed for life, many of us stay tied up for fear or guilt of bettering our parents. So, we deliberately sabotage our successes.

BEGINNING TO REVERSE

To reverse any of these Dream-crushing thoughts and actions, you don’t need 30 years of therapy. Only realize you have the power to change, first by recognition and then by refusal. Recognize you’re letting those Dream crushers govern you. And refuse to let in the self-denial and guilt gang, no matter how much they’re pounding on the door and menacing at the windows.

Have you boldly asked yourself what you really do want, what your Dream is? Elizabeth Gilbert, in her irresistible spiritual chick lit odyssey Eat Pray Love, had such an epiphany. When she finally dared to ask herself what she really wanted, her answers ranged from a new linen shirt to living in Italy. And she went after both and many more.

Continue reading your story on the app

Continue reading your story in the magazine

MORE STORIES FROM TRANSFORMATION MAGAZINEView All

THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION - What do you want?

Experience more of what you want, feed a happy mind, and find solutions faster;

8 mins read
Transformation Magazine
June 2021

FREE TO JUST BE

Creativity needs space and play time without judgment.

3 mins read
Transformation Magazine
June 2021

I Don't Believe in Divine Intervention

We can learn and practice ways to choose our experiences based on our divinity and the laws of Intention, Expectation, and Attraction.

6 mins read
Transformation Magazine
June 2021

WE STARTED THE FIRES

World events have the power to change individual consciousness and human consciousness on a greater level.

5 mins read
Transformation Magazine
June 2021

To age or not to age?

Our bodies want to move and have strong muscles.

3 mins read
Transformation Magazine
June 2021

SPIRITUAL ALIVENESS

Sunrise is the best possible time to recharge yourself for each new day of activity.

4 mins read
Transformation Magazine
June 2021

Inspired Living

Know that we are timeless spiritual/energetic beings—and death is not a “goodbye,” just a “see you later.”

4 mins read
Transformation Magazine
June 2021

FIND YOUR WAY

There’s Angels and Masters and Dear late Aunt Tillie. All of this psychic stuff might sound pretty silly. Still we know that there’s something, we cannot deny it. But we’ll never know what, unless we just try it.

2 mins read
Transformation Magazine
June 2021

DO SOMETHING THAT MATTERS

What we give, we will receive, and kindness is a path that goes outward toward the intended and inward toward ourselves.

4 mins read
Transformation Magazine
June 2021

3 Keys to Sustainable Creativity

Why you should stop trying to produce a bestseller

7 mins read
Transformation Magazine
June 2021