Voicing our opinions does not always come easily, but with your career and relationships at stake, it definitely pays to be upfront.
Ever had the nagging feeling that you should stand up for yourself, but instead of opening your mouth, you just ignored your instincts?
Turns out, keeping quiet when you need to boldly express your feelings can be detrimental to your work, health and social life.
“When I had young children, my mother had a habit of calling at precisely the worst time of the day – dinner time. Instead of telling her from the start that this was my tear-my-hair-out moment, and could she please call back later, I took her calls. A pattern formed of her ringing at this set time of the day,” says writer Tammy Cohen.
“I wish I could turn back the clock and pick up the phone that first or second time, and say, ‘Mum, I’d love to talk, but can we arrange a time when I am not so frantic?’ How hard would that have been? But instead of speaking up, I resented her for calling, and set a negative tone that ended up colouring our relationship for a disproportionately long time.”
Saying exactly what we mean is not something most of us are trained to do. From childhood, we are taught the art of people-pleasing – saying yes even if we mean no, holding back from saying anything that might offend and toning down forthrightness in case it comes across as being inconsiderate or arrogant.
But there are some very good reasons for trying to unlearn those early lessons now, and not holding back from speaking your mind. Learning to speak up will help you immensely – not just in your personal relationships, but also in your career.
Here, Dr Susan Newman shares seven reasons why finding your voice and standing up for yourself will help things work out better in the long run.
YOU’LL AVOID REGRETS
Continue reading your story on the app
Continue reading your story in the magazine
Shiny, Happy Sheila
Cover girl Sheila Sim knows a thing or two about living life to the fullest. The star shares her get-happy formula with us
Adventure With A Cause
Some of us may know her as the lady behind one of the most successful premium laser treatment centres in town, but away from work, Erin Sandral thrives on adventure and seeks to improve the lives of underprivileged women
It's Time For South Africa
A country once mired in decades of violent social struggle brought about by racial segregation policies and laws, it has gone through a rebirth and is flourishing like never before
Know Your Children's Friends
Want to know what makes your child tick? Take a look at their circle of friends – they can offer a surprising insight into your child’s behaviour
Why Women Devour Erotic Fiction
Women who read erotic fiction have better sex lives than women who don’t. We look at why turning pages can also help turn you on and discover why women are so aroused by erotic literature in all its forms
Can Sleeping Apart Mend Your Marriage?
More and more couples choose to sleep in separate beds, but this growing trend doesn’t mean the end of a loving relationship
Can Superstition Enhance Your Life?
The power of positive thinking and a belief in lucky charms might be all it takes to turn your fortunes around
We Wish You A Pleasant Flight
Other than tense muscles, dehydration and sleeplessness, air travel can affect our bodies in many other ways – here’s what you need to know
Tasty treats during Chinese New Year is all part of the festivities to spread joy and good luck. We asked Assistant Pastry Chef Yap Wai Keong from One World Hotel Petaling Jaya to share with us a few auspicious recipes that will bring happiness to your loved ones.
Passion For Cooking And Storytelling
Chef, restaurateur, author and TV host Sapna Anand has a mission – to show the world that Indian cuisine is not limited to just briyani rice or chicken varuval.