Taking a deep breath, I blew out the candles on my cake.
‘Happy birthday!’ my partner Peter said, wrapping his arms around me.
Aged 34, I couldn’t believe how much I’d overcome.
Living with lupus since I was 14, I was in and out of hospital as my immune system attacked itself.
Now, there was lots to be excited about though.
Pete and I were due to marry in July 2018, just before my 35th birthday.
But five months before the wedding, I fell pregnant.
Pete’s daughter from a previous relationship, Kaydence, seven, was so excited to have a sibling. But at 16 weeks, my lupus flared up, and two weeks later I collapsed and was rushed to hospital.
‘Your organs are shutting down,’ the doctor told me. ‘I’m getting married in six days’ time,’ I cried. Looking down at my bump, I knew the next thing the doctor said wouldn’t be good news.
Our little man, who we called Noah, wasn’t going to make it. Devastatingly he grew wings that day and heaven gained another angel.
Amid our grieving, we called our family and friends and postponed our wedding.
Then my specialist broke more bad news.
‘Anotherpregnancy could be fatal to both you and the baby,’ he said, explaining my lupus was too severe for me to carry a bub.
Shattered into a million pieces, I struggled to accept the fact I would never be someone’s mummy.
Eventually, I got the courage to rebook our wedding for March this year.
One day, I was feeling unwell so I decided to take a pregnancy test.
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