At midnight last New Year’s Eve, I realised I had all but lost touch with some of the most important friends I’ve ever had. Perhaps it was the champagne, but I suddenly felt overcome with sadness as I thought of all the people I hadn’t had contact with that year – the girls I went to university with; the couples I spent my 20s with before moving out of London; and Mary, my bestie, who moved home to the United States several years ago.
I miss you so much
Beyond that glass of bubbly, I think the cusp of a new year draws our intentions into sharp focus. As I reflected on what had changed that year – a redundancy, a difficult house move and the sudden death of a friend – I found myself wanting to hold ever tighter to the things that had stayed the same. In particular, I wanted to reach out to old friends, whose presence in my life is an anchor when life is challenging.
In those first few minutes of the new year, I promised myself I’d stop saying, ‘We must catch up’ while knowing we probably wouldn’t. This year, we would!
What I didn’t realise, however, was how difficult it would be. For the first three months of the year, I found it easier to make grand gestures than to do the deeper work of finding time for my mates. I booked a work trip around the chance to spend 24 hours hanging out with my beloved American friend. Although we both valued the stolen time together, I realised, a few weeks later, that I wasn’t in touch with her any more frequently than before. Little had actually changed.
This story is from the February 2020 edition of Psychologies.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the February 2020 edition of Psychologies.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
Spread the joy
Connect with your food, understand your body, and transform your health with JoyFull – Radhi Devlukia-Shetty's mouthwatering new collection of effortless plant-based meals
Rest to reset
Let's make taking time out to soothe the soul, release held stresses, and restore calm an everyday essential, writes Nahid de Belgeonne
Anna Williamson Summer lovin'...
There is nothing that's guaranteed to up our feelgood factor- and our libido - like a little bit of sunshine! So as we feel the fledging rays of summer this month - with beach holidays and cocktails hovering just over the horizon - I'm taking the focus of this month's musings to matters beneath the sheets...
Empty nest
As parenthood takes on a new guise, open yourself up to change and let your grief give way to opportunity, writes Yasmina Floyer
Spotting the unseen
Invite in curiosity and question the biases that inform your beliefs, to open your mind to new ways of being
HOW TO CHECK YOUR BLIND SPOTS
Learn to look beyond your peripheral vision, widen your perspective, and chase down new challenges, urges Holly Treacy
Goodbye to the GOOD GIRL
Let's stop making ourselves smaller to stay safe, and learn to access our latent female power, urges Joanna Ziobronowicz
Building the dream
If you don't ask, you don't get, discovers Harriet Minter...
"Imposter syndrome is super healthy"
Television and radio presenter Claudia Winkleman talks to Psychologies about taking wellness seriously in her 50s, the power of a good nap, and why she’ll never wear a sports bra
How to be happier
Emma Hepburn, aka The Psychology Mum, shares how to bring more bliss into your life