Medically, this that wasn't the way I thought it would be” feeling is I called post-coital tristesse or postcoital dysphoria. What it means is that sex doesn't relax you, or make you feel happy. Instead, it makes you feel crappy, sad, and all the other emotions and feelings you do not intend to feel.
It sounds like sex gone wrong, doesn't it? However, it's not. One can have the most amazing time pleasuring oneself and others, and still feel a broad range of emotions like angry, sad, disconnected, etc. after the act. There is no one reason why people witness this, but it is definitely a signal that we need to look inwards.
Sex educators worldwide will agree with me when I say that we need to change the idea that sex is just about what our genitals can do. Sex first happens in our minds, and later physically. We each have our own individual sexual script that dictates how we believe sex should go. We have learned these scripts over time through everything we have experienced, say with books, movies, media, past/current relationships, peer advice, etc.
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