How Not To DATE

In the lead-up to Valentine's Day, EL's YIMIN HUANG has been researching the phenomenon of dating, and questioning what might be the best approach to this allimportant stage of a relationship.

Modern dating has become quite the cesspool. More and more people, it seems, are getting into “situationships” that can last for years, while still remaining single. It’s a phenomenon virtually unheard of decades ago.

To find out why so many dates seem to be a fail, I engaged the help of books and YouTube videos – even paid to do a “dating course”! The answer is harsh but straightforward: it isn’t actually about that jerk who refused to commit; it all goes back to ourselves.

A quote often attributed to Albert Einstein says that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. So, if you’ve been getting the same unsavoury outcome, it may be a sign to make fundamental changes to how you date.

I’ve condensed my learnings into the following manual, How Not to Date, as a wake-up call for anyone in this situation (and for myself!). Take from it what you will, and decide what you want to change or not change about how you’re currently dating – at your own risk!

Do not Engage in physical intimacy too early

This advice may sound like the opposite of what is touted as “empowering”, but it’s useful to hear for anyone who is set on looking for a long-term partner.