Fall In Love With Yourself
Yoga Journal|September - October 2019
I spent a week in southern France with author Jennifer Pastilofffor her on being human retreat. Here’s what I learned.
Lindsay Tucker

When I tell you hundreds of books cross my desk each year, I mean it. Staff editors at wellness publications get review copies and manuscripts—most selling self-love, proffering radical happiness, and promising to be life changing—every single day. Few get read in entirety. None have ever actually impacted my life in any significant way—until now.

I started reading Jennifer Pastiloff’s On Being Human one particularly lonely weekend when my friends were partying in an HGTV house we’d rented for a birthday. Instead of reveling in the Rocky Mountains, I was in the fetal position thinking about dying—because endometriosis is murder, and that’s another story. I’d brought home a review copy of Pastiloff’s memoir simply because I’d recognized her name from Instagram. Or maybe it was because magic is real and the Universe was offering me an olive branch. I kind of like not knowing.

Pastiloff’s book brilliantly details her own triumph over anorexia and selfhatred fueled by crippling depression—and the similar transformations of women in her retreats and workshops that she bears witness to as some kind of anomalous yoga teacher/sisterhood guru. Suddenly I was cutting up Post Its to mark passages, highlighting words I needed to hear and keep hearing, and texting iPhone photos of paragraphs to friends whose very own souls also seemed to be leaping offthe pages of a manifesto relishing imperfection and shushing self-doubt. I felt a surge of cosmic connection—of being seen by a stranger. So I did something bold and unusual and a little bit scary. I messaged Jen and told her how I felt like she was speaking directly to me. That I felt a little silly telling her that at all, but fuck it, right? That I’d love to attend, and write about, her On Being Human retreat in France in May. And could she offer a reduced media rate or host a member of the press—a.k.a. me?

A few months later, as I tried to put the beauty and absurdity of her retreat on paper—seven days spent workshopping and laughing and dancing and stargazing and holding hands and hearts at a dreamy 17th-century chateau with some of the most dazzling people I’ve ever met—I couldn’t help thinking: This book actually changed my life.

Continue reading your story on the app

Continue reading your story in the magazine

MORE STORIES FROM YOGA JOURNALView All

Holotropic Breathing Ignites Boundless Joy

I’ve tried all sorts of breathwork practices, from the Wim Hof Method to three-part breath, but Holotropic breathing—a pattern of inhalations and exhalations designed to help practitioners access higher states of consciousness—was new to me.

3 mins read
Yoga Journal
January - February 2021

Here's How a Dublin Studio Fuses Modern Style and Safety During the COVID Era

In the midst of daily highs and lows, life unfolds in the gray middle area—and at the Space Between, a Dublin yoga studio that recently celebrated its first anniversary in the wake of a pandemic, it’s that challenging intersection of dark and light where yogis deepen their practice.

3 mins read
Yoga Journal
January - February 2021

I Started Resiliency School to Cultivate Peace in the Modern World

Sometimes life comes at you blow after blow. When that happens, how do you get up? How do you thrive?

7 mins read
Yoga Journal
January - February 2021

Grace Cathedral Fosters Inclusivity and Healing through Yoga

Before Covid-19 shuttered the city, on any given Tuesday in downtown San Francisco, hundreds of mat-toting yogis streamed up Nob Hill in droves to converge at the historic Grace Cathedral, a midcentury Episcopalian church the size of a football field where, in 1965, nearly 5,000 people gathered—spilling out into the streets—to hear a sermon from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

2 mins read
Yoga Journal
January - February 2021

3 Ways to... Ease a Headache

3 Ways to... Ease a Headache

2 mins read
Yoga Journal
January - February 2021

Find Your Flow

At specific points around the world, the earth churns with tangible, tingly energy at sites known as vortices, visited by those seeking connection, healing, or a good story to tell. Here’s your road map to six such hotspots in the Western United States—and what to do once you get there.

10+ mins read
Yoga Journal
January - February 2021

Come On Get Higher

Best-selling author and wellness educator Lalah Delia on raising your vibration to find your highest Self

10 mins read
Yoga Journal
January - February 2021

Pride and Joy

is teaching us to honor our highest selves—and tearing down patriarchal ideology in the process.

8 mins read
Yoga Journal
November - December 2020

Heal THY-SELF?

A new trend promises better mental wellness without the help of Western medicine. Is it unsafe—or just what we need?

7 mins read
Yoga Journal
November - December 2020

4 Steps to Help Manage Overwhelming Emotions

This challenging year has depleted our emotional well-being in unpredictable ways. During times like these, failing to remember our innate unbreakable wholeness—and its qualities of indestructible joy and peace—can cause us to overidentify with our emotional responses. Our egos may translate physical illness, emotional trauma, or even day-to-day challenges as “something’s wrong with me.”

2 mins read
Yoga Journal
November - December 2020