Everything You Know About Self-Carels Not Wrong...But It's Not Quite Right

Why do we still think only of skin-care masks and bubble baths? No shade to your soak, but self-care can (and should) have a much deeper meaning in our lives. We've got a plan-and some very persuasive stories-to get you there.

- By Amelia Harnish

The term self-care is having a moment but is it the right one?

When it's not being sold to us in the form of candles or fuzzy pajamas via Instagram ads, self-care is taking over our TikTok FYP with everything shower routines. It's become something of an excuse for our every indulgence. Happy hour after a terrible day at work? That's self-care. Brunch, followed by a Euphoria-inspired mani? Self-care, baby! Splurging on a luxurious tropical vacation after the hell we've been through these past two years? Self. Hyphen. Care.

But how much we seem to be focusing on self-care online doesn't actually align with reality. More than half of women (54 percent) said their mental health is suffering from job-related burnout, one recent survey found. And stress and anxiety continue to be at an all-time high, with 42 percent of adults saying they've relied on unhealthy habits to get through the past few years, the American Psychological Association's latest Stress in America poll reveals. For example, one in five polled said they've been drinking more during the pandemic.

Stats like these raise this question: If the treat yourself approach to self-care is working, why are we still so frazzled and worn out? Well, according to experts, we're all somewhat missing the point. Self-care is really about taking time to understand your true needs beyond your impulses, says WH advisor Chloe Carmichael, PhD, a NYC-based therapist and the author of Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety.

It's about looking at yourself on a deeper level. It's not that a vacation or a happy hour isn't a worthy form of self-care. Sometimes treating yourself is what's needed, says Dr. Carmichael. But the truth is, if that's all you're doing, you're missing out on the true benefits. Keep reading for a step-by-step lesson in strengthening your relationship to caring for yourself.