IN FEBRUARY 2020, following one of the resort’s deepest snowfalls in its history, visitors to Vail waited for hours in a crowd that ballooned so big you would have thought the lift operators were handing out wads of hundreds and an affordable place to live. The internet deemed it “Lift Line Apocalypse” and, at the time, I felt sorry for all those skiers and snowboarders. Now, I realize they had never been so lucky.
To be clear, I hate lift lines. There are not many things in life I despise more than cow-eyed single-file standing, shuffling inches forward every five hours toward a chair, where I’ll get to sit and keep waiting. I’d rather take a Mike Tyson uppercut to my bathing-suit area than be stuck in traffic. Hell on earth, to me, is a festival ATM.
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