The power of surrender

After years of surrendering to other people’s authority and power, Ajay Kalra wakes up to surrendering to the Moment

- Ajay Kalra

Ever since I was a child, I had to deal with power; essentially, my powerlessness and others’ power. I mostly did what I was told, out of fear of punishment and the greed for others approval. I wanted to be in the good books of people with power. In school, it happened to be teachers and senior students. For the longest time, I was unaware that I was driven by the need to please others. I rarely did anything to displease authority. And even if I did, I would soon apologise.

The first time I stood up to authority was when a co-student had complained to the school principal that I had abused him, which I had not. I remember the principal asking me if there was truth in the complaint against me. “No,” I said. He did not believe me and said that I would be punished. “You can punish me if you wish, but I have not said it.” As I was being hit on my small, outstretched palm with a stick, I bore the pain stoically. In that moment, in spite of my humiliation, I felt powerful. I had stood up for my truth.