Tapping Into Gratitude

If you face the day with a thankful mind-set, science says you may feel happier, sleep better, and react more calmly to, well, a lot. Yet so many of us spend our time complaining rather than appreciating. How can you change that? Weve got the answers.

- Jennifer King Lindley

THERE ARE THOSE MOMENTS WHEN SUNLIGHT pierces the clouds as if in a painting, your partner unexpectedly cleans the whole house on a whim, or your computer miraculously unfreezes after what you feared was a disastrous death spiral—and a warm feeling of gratitude pours over you. If you didn’t have next-door neighbors, you’d toss open the shutters and start singing like Maria on an Austrian hilltop.

Then there are most days. You know, the ones when you are laser-focused on prepping for your big work meeting or your endless to-do list or an upcoming holiday gathering, and you simply don’t think to pause and appreciate all the wonderful things and people that surround you. You’re in no mood to sing. In fact, you kind of have a headache. Thankfulness has pretty much disappeared from your daily routine, and that’s unfortunate. Because practicing gratitude isn’t just about manners—it’s an important and effective form of self-care.

“Gratitude is a powerful way to boost well-being,” says Amie Gordon, PhD, a research scientist at the University of California, San Francisco. A growing body of research links regular doses of gratitude to better sleep, greater happiness, and possibly even lower blood pressure. “And the times when it feels hardest to practice gratitude? That may be when you get the most out of it,” she says.

Robert Emmons, PhD, a leading expert on the science of gratitude, defines it as an awareness and appreciation for the goodness in our lives. It happens when we recognize the source of good as outside ourselves—say, Aunt Jean, who made you the cozy socks, or Mother Nature, who provided the dazzling night sky. Because it is “other-focused,” gratitude can also act as “emotional spackle” in relationships. When you acknowledge your spouse for that emergency dry-cleaning run, your exchange may bring you closer.