Earned Equity
Bike|December 2016

Pedaling Toward a Tranquil Payoff in the Idaho Backcountry.

Graham Averili
Earned Equity
THE GUY STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF the hot springs keeps talking trash about the state of Montana, which is fine (talking shit about Montana seems to be a pastime here in Idaho), except he’s naked and he keeps punctuating his sentences by flicking his penis. 

“I like Idaho because the necks are redder.” 

Flick.

“The first thing someone does when they come up to a hot springs in Idaho is set their revolver on a rock.” 

Flick. 

The trick is to maintain eye contact and try not to let your gaze drift below the horizon line, but honestly, there’s a sort of ‘car crash’ phenomenon to it where you don’t want to look, but at the same time, you can’t help but look. 

Flick. 

That’s the thing about these wild hot springs hidden in Idaho’s rugged landscape: Sometimes you roll up to one and you’re greeted by two very polite, very naked women who offer stimulating conversation about the natural history of the landscape surrounding you (more on that later), and sometimes, you get this guy. A penis-flicker who won’t shut up about how corporate Montana has become.

This story is from the December 2016 edition of Bike.

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This story is from the December 2016 edition of Bike.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.