Attracted to Bad Boys or Bad Girl
Dell Horoscope|November 2016

How to avoid Toxic Relationships.

Larry Schwimmer

 

 
Unfortunately, more and more people find themselves in harmful and destructive relationships. Clients will tell me they repeatedly have love relationships with a person who later turns out to be abusive or addictive in some way. One woman said she frequently meets men who are initially exciting and interesting, only to find out later they are “drunks, liars, or cheaters.” A man said he continually dates women who are “gold diggers,” only interested in his wealth.

Some people actually have a predisposition to “subconsciously” attract unhealthy relationships into their lives. They seem to have a magnetic compass that draws them to abusive or codependent relationships. For example, one person (or both), in an unhealthy way, is psychologically dependent on the other person, who might be engaged in some type of self-destructive behavior (e.g., such addictions to abusive relationships, drugs, alcohol, sex, food, etc.). Why does this happen? And if you have this tendency, what can you do about it?

If this has been your experience, here’s my answer as an astrologer: Look at your horoscope! Your poor relationship choices may be based on the way the planet Neptune functions and affects your relationships.

Keep in mind that a planet in a person’s birth-chart can be positively or negatively aspected (such as a square or opposition from one planet to another). If the planet is negatively impacted or stressed, the result is that the individual will have some special behavioral tendencies that can create problems for him in relationships.

After looking at more than 3,500 natal charts and meeting with hundreds of clients who have complained about their chronic tendency to attract unhealthy (abusive, addictive, and/or co-dependent) relationships, I have observed that their problems are often tied to the way that Neptune aspects a personal planet in their natal chart. Four of the most problematic combinations involve Neptune, Venus, and Mars.

Neptune: When Neptune is stressed in a person’s chart—under a square or opposition—they have a tendency to be unrealistic, over idealize, fantasize, and be confused. They are subject to self-deception or being deceived by others.

Venus: When Venus is stressed in a person’s chart through square or opposition, there is a tendency to be self-indulgent and excessive in the need for self gratification or love. They often gravitate towards pleasure and beauty in an unhealthy way.

Mars: When Mars is stressed in a person’s chart through these same hard aspects, they have a strong desire or sexual nature. They tend to be impulsive or aggressive, drawn to getting what they want, often with very little self-control.

WHAT PLANETARY COMBINATIONS ARE FOUND IN TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS?

Here are the four natal planetary combinations that create a tendency to attract unhealthy and disappointing relationships.

Neptune square Venus or Neptune opposition Venus: Under the stress of either of these combinations, the person is drawn to unhealthy relationships (or unhealthy pleasures). They can be overly consumed with the fantasy of finding an “ideal” love relationship that is hardly possible, frequently bestowing their affections unwisely. They are often prey to individuals who play on their sympathies.

Because of their highly romantic nature, they are often unrealistic about their love relationships, frequently misperceiving the real nature of their relationship (e.g., “I thought you really loved me!”). They have a tendency to project what they “wish” was happening in their relationship instead of what is “really” happening in it.

Continue reading your story on the app

Continue reading your story in the magazine

MORE STORIES FROM DELL HOROSCOPEView All

Your Astrological Guide To Getting Organized!

Sometimes, working at home as a writer, I feel overwhelmed by pieces of paper, large and small. The same is true of pens and reference books. When the stacks are tall enough to cast shadows, I grow claustrophobic and flee to the public library. There I can work in a spacious, orderly, and ideal if somewhat sterile world.

7 mins read
Dell Horoscope
January 2018

Horary Astrology

Question: Which dorm mate should I choose?Date: July 23, 2017Time: 10:24:00 A.M. E.D.T.Place: West Hartford, CTThis question came from my client’s daughter who is beginning her first year of college and will live on campus. She asked: “I have a dorm room at the college I will attend this fall. Two of my girlfriends are also attending the same college. They both want to room with me, but I can only take one as a roommate. Which one should I choose?”I asked her which friend requested to room with her first. This a very important question because it establishes the houses that rule each friend. 

3 mins read
Dell Horoscope
January 2018

Soul - Centered Astrology - Scorpio: Sign Of Death But The Key To A Better Life

As we awaken to the realization of the need to align ourselves to the reality of the Soul (and aid and counsel others toward this same orientation), we seek out ways to implement a greater measure of the Will-to-Good into our lives. One of these is an attitude of self-acceptance in that we do not consistently judge ourselves. Instead, we strive to observe what in us resists and inhibits a greater flowering of goodwill both in ourselves and in others. Often this is based on a sense of separation from life manifesting in ego-centricity and projected expectations of behavior both on the part of others as well as ourselves. Giving ourselves up to the sense of the One while at the same time actively doing our part in the One Work is fundamental to the reduction of stress and the implementation of Joy in our lives.

10+ mins read
Dell Horoscope
November 2017

Enhance Your Resume With Astrology

If you just aren’t happy in your job and you are beginning a search for a new position, your resumé is a powerful vehicle for getting you that all-important initial interview. Astrology can help you to identify the best things to say about yourself, aside from the details of education, experience, publications, and professional memberships.

9 mins read
Dell Horoscope
November 2017

The Astro - View Scotland

The Titan Prometheus was a pretty arrogant fellow in my view. According to Greek myth, he stole the fire of knowledge from the gods, hidden in a fennel stalk, to give to humanity for our enlightenment. Did he consult any humans beforehand to see if we wanted such a double-edged gift? To the best of my knowledge, he did not. He thought he knew best. For this blatant act of hubris—i.e., thinking you are as smart as the gods—he was savagely punished by Zeus, their king. You probably know the story, but it bears repeating just to remind us that hubris is not a good idea. Chained to a rock, Prometheus had his liver pecked out by an eagle on a daily basis; it regrew overnight—the punishment never ended.

3 mins read
Dell Horoscope
November 2017

Christmas And Soul - Centered Gifts For The Signs

The search for self—the process of individuation—is not a fad. Certainly, there are processes, weekend intensives, and specialized spiritual products and programs that come and go. We could say that there are a number of outer forms for the search for self that are indeed trendy, glamorous, and faddish, but that is the nature of all forms of social popularity in general. The essential search for the key to the expansion of consciousness and the resultant transformations in our attitudes and lifestyles are certainly not faddish. There is a Path, and that Path is the Goal; our job is getting There, and I assure you that there is a “There” to get to.—AO

10+ mins read
Dell Horoscope
December 2017

December's Planets And You

As loyal readers know, eclipses are the most powerful energizers in astrology. I usually begin an eclipse analysis about three months prior to its occurrence because the general rule is that Solar Eclipses begin to heat up the degrees in the zodiac about 90 days in advance. An example from last spring, however, demonstrates that this time span is simply a guideline.

6 mins read
Dell Horoscope
December 2017

Why Do People Run for Office?

There is no group more maligned by the American people than politicians, which is odd when we consider that politicians and politics are a natural byproduct of the democracy of which we are so proud. If you want to avoid politicians currying your favor and promising you things they can’t deliver, perhaps you should go live under a dictatorship. There the leaders just tell you what to do.

10+ mins read
Dell Horoscope
November 2016

Attracted to Bad Boys or Bad Girl

How to avoid Toxic Relationships.

9 mins read
Dell Horoscope
November 2016

Does Astrology Deny Free Will?

A criticism commonly leveled against astrology involves the thorny issue of free will. If our lives are somehow influenced or even predetermined by the stars, the argument goes, doesn’t that mean we have no real choice, that we’re little more than puppets of an overarching cosmic fate?

3 mins read
Dell Horoscope
March/April 2018
RELATED STORIES

Down to Their Last Dollar

Businesses fail every day, from world-beaters (like TWA and Lehman Brothers) to sexy high-fliers (DeLorean, Enron) to Steady Eddie, old-school icons (Toys “R” Us, Sears). Sometimes, of course, market conditions simply turn Sisyphean. But often, when that boulder starts to roll backward, a leader’s grit, imagination, resourcefulness, and ability to conjure a little luck can mean the difference between a brave new chapter and, well, Chapter 11. Here, four businesses that went from nearly bust to total gangbusters.

3 mins read
Inc.
October 2021

Kara Goldin – Making a Bigger Splash

Hint founder and CEO Kara Goldin talks to Park Place Payments founder and CEO Samantha Ettus about breaking into a new industry with an unconventional strategy.

6 mins read
Inc.
October 2021

100 Women Of Impact – Eva Longoria

Eva Longoria became famous as an actress, but her real mission was to be the boss—and then give opportunities to women who might never otherwise get them.

10 mins read
Entrepreneur
October - November 2021

Innovation Comes from Intrapreneurs

Employees say they’re unhappy. Companies are struggling to navigate massive change. The solution to both? It’s creating a culture of intrapreneurship.

5 mins read
Entrepreneur
October - November 2021

Facing a Hard Choice? Get Out of Your Head

When we look at a decision through someone else’s eyes, change becomes a lot easier to make.

3 mins read
Entrepreneur
October - November 2021

Don't Compete. Differentiate!

Want to scale your business? Stop worrying about the competition, and focus on these three areas instead.

3 mins read
Entrepreneur
October - November 2021

What Did You Cut?

To stay agile, business owners must often rethink what they truly need. We asked six entrepreneurs: What expenses have you realized your company is better off without?

2 mins read
Entrepreneur
October - November 2021

Where Change Leads You

The process can be painful, but the goal is profound: Find something new that you’d never want to lose.

3 mins read
Entrepreneur
October - November 2021

Making the First Sale

My sales career was almost cut short by my parents.

2 mins read
Entrepreneur
October - November 2021

A Small Part of a Small Business Can Be a Big Idea

Lisa Tran’s parents (right) escaped a Communist regime and built a small restaurant in America. Now she wants to reinvent it by building a business based solely on their sauces. Her mom thinks she’s crazy—and maybe she is. But some of the greatest brands were built in much the same way.

10+ mins read
Entrepreneur
Startups Fall - Winter 2021