The script is supposed to be simple: You meet. You crush (and maybe they do, too). You talk. You date…or you don’t.
But now more than ever, for some relationships the “talking stage” just never, ever ends. And whether it’s your call or not, you’re stuck. You can’t shake the feeling that this is more than a friendship…but you’re also not comfortable saying you’re together. You’d try to define the relationship…but what if your simple “Hey, what’s our deal?” Q ends up, well, ending things for good?
Welcome to a situationship: the spot where you have no real idea where (or what) you are.
Nicole B., 16, has been there. “I’d text with this guy in my classes every single day,” she says. “We confessed our feelings for each other, and sometimes even went on dates, but nothing progressed.” Her hurt and confusion peaked as months passed… then her would-be BF invited another girl to prom.
“It was so frustrating how I constantly felt we were thisclose to dating, but we never got there,” Nicole explains. That’s what situationships do: Leave girls and guys alone in the unknown, unsure of the future yet afraid to let go of the present.
If you think you’re in a situationship, it’s time to avoid the abstract and (maybe) launch into a real relationship. Here’s how to get the clarity—and the crush vibe—you deserve.
DITCH THE DTR
Wondering if you’re in a situationship? Look for these three standard signs: One, you’d be nervous asking them to be your date to winter formal—even though, in your mind, they’re the obvious pick.
Two, they know pretty much everything about your life (like how you make a berry smoothie each day after tennis practice), but they never see much beyond the reported play-by-play (you’d be weirded out if they came over to share said smoothie, tbh).
Three, you seek out excuses to text or talk to them (“Oops, accidentally snapped you!”) instead of just saying “hi” or “I like you.”
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