Your Genuinely Helpful Guide to Situationships
Girls' Life magazine|October/November 2021
More than a crush…but less than a relationship. Here’s how to navigate the in-between.
By Katherine Hammer

The script is supposed to be simple: You meet. You crush (and maybe they do, too). You talk. You date…or you don’t.

But now more than ever, for some relationships the “talking stage” just never, ever ends. And whether it’s your call or not, you’re stuck. You can’t shake the feeling that this is more than a friendship…but you’re also not comfortable saying you’re together. You’d try to define the relationship…but what if your simple “Hey, what’s our deal?” Q ends up, well, ending things for good?

Welcome to a situationship: the spot where you have no real idea where (or what) you are.

Nicole B., 16, has been there. “I’d text with this guy in my classes every single day,” she says. “We confessed our feelings for each other, and sometimes even went on dates, but nothing progressed.” Her hurt and confusion peaked as months passed… then her would-be BF invited another girl to prom.

“It was so frustrating how I constantly felt we were thisclose to dating, but we never got there,” Nicole explains. That’s what situationships do: Leave girls and guys alone in the unknown, unsure of the future yet afraid to let go of the present.

If you think you’re in a situationship, it’s time to avoid the abstract and (maybe) launch into a real relationship. Here’s how to get the clarity—and the crush vibe—you deserve.

DITCH THE DTR

Wondering if you’re in a situationship? Look for these three standard signs: One, you’d be nervous asking them to be your date to winter formal—even though, in your mind, they’re the obvious pick.

Two, they know pretty much everything about your life (like how you make a berry smoothie each day after tennis practice), but they never see much beyond the reported play-by-play (you’d be weirded out if they came over to share said smoothie, tbh).

Three, you seek out excuses to text or talk to them (“Oops, accidentally snapped you!”) instead of just saying “hi” or “I like you.”

Continue reading your story on the app

Continue reading your story in the magazine

MORE STORIES FROM GIRLS' LIFE MAGAZINEView All

Color happy

Oh, nothing to see here, except a cheery checklist on using saturated shades that’ll totally transform your fall wardrobe.

1 min read
Girls' Life magazine
October/November 2021

Don't Be a Ghost

Any of these alternatives are better than leaving them on read...

6 mins read
Girls' Life magazine
October/November 2021

Your Genuinely Helpful Guide to Situationships

More than a crush…but less than a relationship. Here’s how to navigate the in-between.

6 mins read
Girls' Life magazine
October/November 2021

Can Your School Punish You For Your Posts?

We all have days when we get on social media and just vent. But here’s the very surprising truth about just how far some schools are going to control what students share on their feeds…and what you can do about it.

6 mins read
Girls' Life magazine
October/November 2021

SQUASH THE SCARIES FOR GOOD

Stuck in a stress spiral? Can’t sleep? Don’t let the monsters get you down (or keep you up).

6 mins read
Girls' Life magazine
October/November 2021

Hey, what about me?

Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt left out.

4 mins read
Girls' Life magazine
October/November 2021

Help, my teacher is a nightmare!

TEACHER GETTING YOU DOWN? HERE’S HOW TO HANDLE THE SITCH BEFORE THEY SQUASH YOUR FRESH FALL VIBE.

6 mins read
Girls' Life magazine
October/November 2021

Inside the Wonderfully Weird World of Mckenna Grace

Who ya gonna call? If you’re searching for one of this generation’s brightest talents, hit up Mckenna Grace.

5 mins read
Girls' Life magazine
October/November 2021

THE TRUTH about TikTok nutrition

Your FYP might be feeding you false food facts.

6 mins read
Girls' Life magazine
October/November 2021

Should I text him first?

Dear Carol

10+ mins read
Girls' Life magazine
October/November 2021