No means no, right? The news is filled with reports of women and girls who say their N-O was ignored. Here’s the truth about why guys get aggressive—and what you can do to stop them in their tracks.
Alexa R.*, 16, was at a party with a bunch of kids from school when a guy she didn’t know started flirting with her. Soon, he was wrapping his arms around her and staring down her shirt. She knew it wasn’t OK and told him to stop, but he didn’t listen. And when she told him she was heading home, he persuaded her to stay.
Alexa felt pressured not to make a big deal out of it to those around her, so she moved to another room in an effort to avoid the guy. He wound up finding her anyway and forced her to touch him in ways that made her really uncomfortable—even though she said no.
As terrible as it sounds, Alexa is not alone. Stories of sexual harassment have dominated the national conversation since fall and drawn attention to a problem that the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says affects one in four girls under the age of 18: sexual violence.
What is sexual violence? Many think of a horrific crime like rape, but the scope is broader than that. Sexual violence isn’t just unwanted sexual contact (like someone kissing or touching you without your consent)—sexual violence also is someone saying something sexual you don’t want to hear or sending you or showing you images you don’t want to see. It also can be verbal threats or intimidation: “If you loved me, you would do this…”
Our own study of GL girls revealed that about half of them had been in a situation with a guy in which he wanted to do something physical, but she didn’t want to go along with it.
While most of the guys stopped as soon as they heard no, 32 percent of girls reported having their pleas ignored. And lots of girls have learned the hard way that unwanted touching or attention doesn’t just come from random creepy guys on the dance floor or BFs who want to take the relationship to the next level.
This story is from the February/March 2017 edition of Girls' Life magazine.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the February/March 2017 edition of Girls' Life magazine.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
Why aren't you and your crush together already
Six reasons you aren't dating for real... yet.
A love letter to myself (and all the single girls out there)
This year, I’m my own Valentine. And not only is that OK—it’s kind of amazing, tbh.
WELCOME TO YOUR winter workout WONDERLAND
DON'T LET THE COLD TEMPS FOOL YOU-WE'RE OFFICIALLY ENTERING PEAK FITNESS SZN.
Low-key missing lockdown
Yeah, staying home was weird, but it also was kind of...nice?
Dear Carol
I don’t know if my crush likes me back
THE PRETTIEST PARTS
Changing the way you wear your hair is quick, easy and doesn't even require a major makeover (or a single scissor snip!).
Lucky Girl Syndrome
just became your thing
WHAT'S YOUR GALENTINE'S SUPERPOWER?
We’re 1,000% sure your besties would agree: You’re caring, supportive and pretty much all-around amazing to have as a friend.
Meet You at The Ballet Barre
Pull on your tights and channel your inner prima ballerina.
KyliE Cantrall is just trusting the universe
...and it's giving some serious heart eyes (and star power) right back.