TUESDAY, 6 P.M.
I'm texting with Ethan, the unfairly sexy ethically non-monogamous gentleman who proposed a get-together with me...and his girlfriend. Focusing on coordinating three different schedules is keeping me from spiraling into an Am I ready for this?! hole when, out of nowhere, my ex-boyfriend James invites me over for a wine night catch-up.
This seems dangerous. I haven't seen him in two years. He's the guy who, eight months after our breakup, texted me: "There's a question I've been dying to ask you."
His actual question, which came through just moments later, was: "Is your butt real?" I know. But I'm not doing anything tonight, and I sort of can't resist the chance to remind myself just how much better off I (probably) am without him.
I cautiously walk into his all-white apartment. The decor seems too minimalist for what a chaotic person he is. He hands me a glass of chilled red and begins a play-by-play-of his career, who he's dated since we broke up, all the minutiae I missed. Are we...friends now? This man once broke my heart, but right now you'd think we'd been lifelong pals.
He asks for my updates and I can think of only one thing: "I have a date next week with a couple." I figure nothing says "I'm over you" quite like mentioning my quest to become some pair's unicorn. James pauses, then says, "Always find a task, and you'll be fine." I did not have "get a pep talk from my ex-boyfriend for my upcoming threesome" on my 2022 bingo card, but a tip is a tip.
This story is from the Issue 03, 2022 edition of Cosmopolitan.
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This story is from the Issue 03, 2022 edition of Cosmopolitan.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
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