Facing Commitment Issues In Your Relationship?
Cosmopolitan India|October 2021
Finding fault with partners or reasons not to date them could be a fear of commitment.
Emily Gulla

Relationships can be complicated, and there are plenty of things that can affect how we behave in a relationship too, from our attachment style, to having a fear of abandonment, to having trouble committing to another person—aka commitment issues. If you find yourself constantly afraid of making things serious with partners, or you are dating someone who is distant and refusing to label things, it could be that commitment issues are at play.

Here is what you need to know about the signs of commitment issues, what causes them, and how to deal with it if you (or someone you are dating) has issues with commitment.

WHAT ARE COMMITMENT ISSUES?

Commitment issues generally refer to people who have difficulty or a fear of committing to a relationship. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t want to be in the relationship at all, but that they have trouble fully committing to it.

UK-based psychotherapist and counsellor Katerina Georgiou explains, “Another word that could describe commitment issues is ‘ambivalence’. It can feel like there is a part of you that wants to be in the situation, and another part that also wants to flee.”

Having commitment issues can mean different things for different people. Some people might be afraid of the idea of being in a relationship forever, while others might have a fear that they will be abandoned, hurt, cheated on, or that they might cheat, Katerina explains.

Plus, “There can sometimes be a sense of the grass being greener,” she adds. “You might think, ‘Is this it? Is this the best/happiest I am going to feel? What if there’s something better?’”

Commitment issues can also be linked to your attachment style in a relationship. People with an avoidant attachment style might like their own space and want to make sure it’s not going to be invaded, explains UK-based sex and relationships therapist Cate Mackenzie.

Meanwhile, if someone has a disorganised attachment style, part of them might want to be involved, while another part of them doesn’t, she adds, which can result in mixed messages.

HOW TO TELL IF SOMEONE YOU ARE DATING HAS COMMITMENT ISSUES?

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