LOWER libido, creaky joints, wobbly bits and wrinkles – these features of ageing don’t exactly scream sexy.
But they also don’t have to stand in the way of great sex. As people live longer and enjoy improved health there’s been an uptick in new romances in later life.
People who’ve divorced – the so-called “silver splitters” – or been widowed aren’t settling for going it solo and sex is a big part of the equation.
In this extract from her new – and very frank – book, Love After 50, New York-based author Francine Russo offers a blueprint for how to have the best sex of your life in your later years.
As long as you revise your expectations and are prepared to be open and honest with your partner, you can look forward to a meaningful and fulfilling sexual relationship.
IF you’ve found the one you want to be with, you’re poised to have the best sex of your life. How is that possible, you may wonder?
If you’re a woman, your oestrogen has all but evaporated and you’re not as flexible as you used to be.
If you’re a man, your testosterone has declined. You’re slower to get and hold an erection and loss of muscle mass or problematic knees mean you can no longer have sex in all the positions you once liked.
You and your partner need to work this out together. So you talk more. You tell each other what you can and can’t do, what feels good and what doesn’t.
When you sleep with someone for the first time, you make yourself more vulnerable. During and after sex, love hormones flood your body: serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin. They create feelings of bliss and attachment.
When you’re older, you’re also exposing your aging body, with its inevitable limitations and scars. Getting naked with a new person can be scary. You want to know your partner will be gentle and non-judgmental.
Talk intimately before you have sex.
“If it’s too early in a relationship to reveal things you’re embarrassed about, it’s too early to have sex,” therapist Lois Nightingale says.
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