THE EX FACTOR
Femina|April 2021
It is possible to have a cordial relationship with your ex-husband. Radhika Sathe-Patwardhan has some pointers
Radhika Sathe-Patwardhan

Jennifer Weiner, American writer, television producer, and journalist, once said, “Divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy is staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.” As Weiner points out, divorce can sometimes be a better option for you, your partner, and your children than trying to work through a relationship that can’t be salvaged. But, once that’s done, what then? Some say it’s impossible to be friends with your ex-husband; others believe it is possible if both sides take the initiative to make it work—for yourself and your kids.

According to Staying Friends with Ex Romantic Partners: Predictors, Reasons, and Outcomes, a study conducted by the Department of Psychology, University of Kansas, there are four reasons to stay friends with exes: security, practicality, civility, and unresolved romantic desires. “Sex, sexual orientation, attachment styles, personality traits, time since breakup, and reasons for breakup all predicted staying friends,” reveals the study. “Staying friends due to unresolved romantic desires resulted in negative outcomes, whereas staying friends due to security and practical reasons resulted in more positive outcomes.” Similarly, when it comes to divorce, why you divorced—and, to an extent, how you divorced—plays a big role in the way ahead if you want to remain on friendly terms with your ex.

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