Simple Tips To Continue Being Friends With Your Ex
Femina|July 9, 2018

Staying friends with your ex might be hard, but it isn’t impossible if you follow these simple commandments. Neeti Jaychander lays them out for you

Neeti Jaychander

Friends with an ex, say what? Before you gasp at this strange phenomenon, hear this. When Hollywood actors Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck broke up, Affleck said in an interview, “Jen’s great. She’s a great person. We’re on great terms. I just saw her this morning, so that’s the reality that I live in.” Garner, on her part, went on to say, “He’s still the only person who really knows the truth about things. And I’m still the only person that knows some of his truths.” Celebrity status aside, Garner and Affleck are just one of thousands of couples who have managed to stay friends with each other. While for most couples, breaking up may seem like the end of the world, there are many who also remain amicable with their ex-spouse or ex-boyfriend. Yep, you heard that right. And no, we aren’t lying! This, however, is not without its share of challenges. If you’re planning to go down this road, take an oath to follow these commandments and you’re golden.

THOU SHALT MOURN BEFORE YOU ATTEMPT FRIENDSHIP

You can’t just go from romantic to platonic overnight! Take some time apart, allow for the feelings to settle, maybe even go out on a few dates with other people so that you’re able to distract yourself from your post-breakup feelings. Psychiatrist Manjula MK says, “If you’re able to be friends with your ex the instant you break up, without any thought of romance or getting back together, then your feelings were obviously not as deep as you thought they were.” To get over any serious relationship, you should ideally take time out to cool off. “No doubt it’s tempting to respond to his text messages, or make plans to meet up, but if you do that and fall back into the same rut, you’ll be repeating the same mistakes that led to your breakup, and sabotage any real chance you have of staying friends with your ex,” she says.

THOU SHALT NOT HANG OUT ALONE

Continue reading your story on the app

Continue reading your story in the magazine

MORE STORIES FROM FEMINAView All

THE INSIDE STORY

TARA SUTARIA GETS REAL WITH SUKRITI SHAHI IN A CANDID CONVERSATION ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS, LOCKDOWN LEARNINGS, AND AN UPCOMING YEAR OF EXCITING PROJECTS

8 mins read
Femina
April 2021

It's time to plan a FAMILY VACAY!

While we wait to travel again, here’s how you can ready yourself to vacation avec famille.

5 mins read
Femina
April 2021

LESSONS on LOVE

Relationships, good and bad, help us grow and understand ourselves better and here are five lessons that we can surely learn from it.

2 mins read
Femina
April 2021

DESI POWER IN THE US CABINET

MEET THE INDIAN-AMERICAN WOMEN IN US PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN’S CABINET.

7 mins read
Femina
April 2021

THE NEW PARENT survival guide

Becoming a parent can be exciting, overwhelming and stressful, but you can learn to handle the pressures that come with infant care and balance life accordingly, says Kayalvizhi Arivalan

4 mins read
Femina
April 2021

SKINCARE 101

DR JAISHREE SHARAD busts common skincare myths, and gives us the lowdown on acids for skin, and anti-ageing treatments.

6 mins read
Femina
April 2021

THE EX FACTOR

It is possible to have a cordial relationship with your ex-husband. Radhika Sathe-Patwardhan has some pointers

4 mins read
Femina
April 2021

REACHING OUT TO THE STARS

AWARDED BY BOTH HON. PRESIDENT AND HON. VICE PRESIDENT OF INDIA, DR SOHINI SASTRI’S ACCURATE PREDICTION SKILLS MADE HER ONE OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL AND BEST ASTROLOGERS IN INDIA.

1 min read
Femina
April 2021

DESIGN DREAMER

Interior designer Kajal Agrawal shares her journey, her thoughts on gender-related issues in the design sector, and more with Ravina Sachdev

2 mins read
Femina
April 2021

A ‘BAG'FUL OF SPIRIT

What started as an activity to keep her busy in a dropped academic year soon turned into an all-consuming passion to offer women the bags they need. NINA LEKHI, MD and Chief Design Curator, Baggit, shares her ideas with Shraddha Kamdar

5 mins read
Femina
April 2021
RELATED STORIES

The Six Reasons You're Not Dating… (Yet!); Which Secret Thing Might Be Keeping You From Bae Bliss?

Stop us if this sounds familiar: One of your girls is swooning over how cute her crush looked in class. Your track teammate is asking if you’ve hit up that new drive-in movie spot because she wants to take her girlfriend this weekend. Your bestie just shared the sweet Spotify playlist her BF made for her. And let’s not even talk about the cringey-but cute “good morning” texts your friends can’t stop screenshotting and sending your way.

4 mins read
Girls' Life magazine
April/May 2021

Save Valentine's Day ... by Avoiding These Games

Dating can be a difficult process. Traditionally, two people might chit-chat over drinks or dinner, then spend two hours in a darkened theater ignoring each other. This is not the most effective means of getting to know someone. A shared activity is a better way to share the real you with someone else.

9 mins read
Casual Game Insider
Winter 2021

Are Breakups Secretly The Best? Hear Us Out...

6 love resolutions from the biggest relationship busts.

3 mins read
Girls' Life magazine
December / January 2021

Breakup survival guide

Time with BAE went from blissful to busted? Smart steps to getting over them for good.

3 mins read
Girls' Life magazine
October/November 2020

How to be a super chill human even when you're crushing hard.

Have a love life while still having an *actual* life

3 mins read
Girls' Life magazine
October/November 2020

The Relationship Mistakes *Anyone* Can Make

Yes, you actually can turn your disaster-tastic dating blunders into learning experiences. Write this down...

3 mins read
Girls' Life magazine
August/September 2020

Does Your Crush Actually Like Someone Else?

All right, it’s time to face the facts: you have a crush. You get that nervous feeling every time you’re around the person, you can’t figure out what to say and when to say it and your cheeks go pink when you’re in the same room. Now the question is whether they like you back—or could they be crushing on someone else (gah). Decoding that can be super tricky, so we’re here to help.

4 mins read
Girls' Life magazine
April/May 2020

Bumble's High Bar

Most dating apps are dumpster fires. Whitney Wolfe Herd started Bumble to give women a better option. Is it living up to its lofty ideals?

10+ mins read
Bloomberg Businessweek
January 27 - February 03, 2020

Dating Apps Leak Personal Data, Norwegian Group Says

Dating apps including Grindr, OkCupid and Tinder leak personal information to advertising tech companies in possible violation of European data privacy laws, a Norwegian consumer group said in a report this week.

2 mins read
Techlife News
January 18, 2020

Fries Before Guys… And Other Boy Myths To Break

Forget everything you’ve heard: the dated dating advice has *got* to go. We’re rewriting the rules to your much more modern love story.

5 mins read
Girls' Life magazine
Feb/March 2020