SONNY DAYS FOR CHER!

Sweet revenge on Bono's widow

ISLAND OF THE DAMNED

Research primates stranded in Carolina

PLANET OF THE APES!

LOCALS GOING BANANAS OVER $396 MILLION MONKEY FARM

MET GALA SLAMS THE DOOR ON BRAVO BABES

TV’s Real Housewives may act like they’re Queen of the May, but they’re STILL not welcome at the fashion industry’s most prestigious event — the annual springtime Met Gala!

LIVID HOUSEWIVES FINALLY GET REAL!

Scandalous suits accuse boss Cohen of ugly abuse

TRUMP AIMS TO DEPORT DOPER HARRY

PRINCE HARRY is facing deportation if Donald Trump is reelected — and palace insiders say it’s his own damn fault!

WILLIAM & CAMILLA BRAWL FOR IT ALL!

Fighting each other to control final days of dying king’s reign

JAM MASTER JAY'S MURDERERS NAILED!

Rap legend’s boyhood buds did the dirty

KENTUCKY PRISON SHAME EXPOSED!

Sex predator guards make inmates' lives absolute hell

DR. PHIL HUNTING HANNITY'S HEAD!

WILY Dr. Phil hopes to best FOX News with his network, Merit Street Media, by poaching top industry talent — including the rival channel’s firebrand Sean Hannity, sources squeal.

NEW PREDATORS RAISING ALARM IN FOX HENHOUSE

AFTER beleaguered blowhard Tucker Carlson’s reputation was further rocked in a new hacking scandal, sources say his former FOX News co-stars are petrified that they’ve been targeted, too, insiders dish!

Holy Cowell! FROZEN SIMON LOOKS STRANGE

FORMER American Idol judge Simon Cowell is barely recognizable after his face was frozen by a Botox binge — and now the vain 64-year-old swears he’s quit cosmetic fixes for good!

ADELE SKYFALLS OFF DIET & GAINS 30 LBS.

SUPERSTAR Adele has been watching her figure meticulously for years, but now sources say she’s thrown caution to the wind — and packed on 30 pounds — but hubby Rich Paul is loving her sexy new curves!

KRIS' FAULTY NOSE FAILS SMELL TEST!

KARDASHIAN momager Kris Jenner’s nose is out of joint — literally — after too much cosmetic surgery, say sources.

ZERO PITY FOR BAD BOY DIDDY

Career in ruins as guy files $30M sex suit

SWIFT'S DAD IN HOT WATER!

Accused of punch-up Down Under

FBI EXPERT SHOOTS HOLE IN ALEC'S TALE

Insists actor had to have pulled trigger on fatal bullet

ROBERT TO WED PREGGERS SUKI TO PACIFY HER!

PREGNANT Suki Waterhouse is pushing pretty-boy fiancé Robert Pattinson to make the Milk Teeth singer an honest woman with a hush-hush shotgun wedding weeks before she’s due to drop their first child, sources wail!

SHANNEN PINS BAD BEHAVIOR ON EX-HUBBY!

TROUBLE magnet Shannen Doherty says she’s taking full “blame” for her firing from the ’90s TV hit Beverly Hills, 90210 for allowing her “horrible marriage” to then-husband Ashley Hamilton to trigger her unprofessional behavior behind the scenes!

LONELY JEN'S LOVE LIFE DOA!

No one's there for former man-magnet

R&B BACKLASH BITES BUCKAROO BEYONCE!

Say she's a bumpkin for going country

SNOOP DOGG DROOLING FOR DOLLY!

RAPPER Snoop Dogg is dead serious about lusting to make beautiful music with his idol Dolly Parton after not so secretly crushing on her for years, sources sing!

KIMMEL KRUSHES LATE-NITE RIVALS!

Colbert Fallon ae as Jimmy urns the screws

DREW'S MURDERED LOVE TESTIFIES FROM GRAVE!

Chilling notes read at trial nail battered gal's psycho stalker

HOUSE OF MIRACLES!

Ohio home visited by Jesus draws crowds for healing

CHRISTIAN BAILS ON MOVIES TO HELP KIDS!

Builds mega Compe 0 protect foster sibs

JUDGE PERRY WAS PUSHED!

But Katy claims she QUIT after heing victimized hy evil Idol execs

BOMBS AWAY FOR DOOMED DAKOTA!

Savage reviews for Marvel movie make her pariah

BIEBERSI MAKE BEELINE FOR $320OM BREAKUP!

JUSTIN and Hailey Bieber’s jittery marriage has gone from yummy to life support and sources say she is setting her sights on snaring at least half of the aging teen idol’s massive $320 million fortune!

INMATE ORGANS HARVESTED IN BLACK MARKET HORROR!

Alabama prisons dump scooped-out corpses on relatives' doorsteps