There was once a time when strangers talked to one another, some- times eagerly. "In past eras, daily life made it necessary for individuals to engage with others different from themselves," Paula Marantz Cohen explains. In those moments of unpredictability and serendipity, we confronted difference. There were no smartphones, message boards, or online factions. Maybe because life moved at a slower pace, and every interaction wasn't so freighted with political meaning, we had the opportunity to recognize our full humanity. Nowadays, she argues, we are sectarian and "self-soothing," having fallen out of such practice. What we need is to return to the basics: to brush up on the art of conversation.
Cohen, a professor of English at Drexel University, is the author of "Talking Cure: An Essay on the Civilizing Power of Conversation" (Princeton). She makes the case that talking to others-sharing our stories is how we learn things and sharpen our belief systems, how we piece together what it means to be funny or empathetic. Conversation can change our minds while sustaining our souls. There's some social-science research on her side. A 2018 study showed that participants who had more substantial conversations reported relatively high levels of satisfaction with life.
This story is from the March 20, 2023 edition of The New Yorker.
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This story is from the March 20, 2023 edition of The New Yorker.
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