I was taken to a small, dark cell with just a mattress at Holloway Prison, wearing a dress made from indestructible material so I couldn’t hang myself. Twice a day I was fed through a hatch in the door because I was deemed “too dangerous” for the wardens to enter my cell. I stopped being Nicola Jane Owen and became “Prisoner DO2572”.
Today, this seems incredulous. I’d had an idyllic childhood raised by Pam, a stay-at-home mum, and Ed, my accountant dad. I was a child model and talented dancer, winning many competitions. My younger sister Sally was a gifted musician and my little brother Johnnie was sporty and ambitious. We all went to private school and had a lovely home in Bexley, Kent.
But when I hit puberty my moods dramatically blackened, and I began self-harming. Using my dad’s razor I cut off my eyelashes, eyebrows, shaved my head and slashed my face.
My weight ballooned from 8½st to 14st from bingeing on big mixing bowls filled to the brim with Rice Krispies, milk and loads of sugar. It was as if I hated myself and wanted to make myself as ugly as possible. I threw things and smashed plates in volatile rages. When Mum tried to stop me once, I even chased her around the kitchen with a knife.
This story is from the November 23, 2020 edition of New UK.
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This story is from the November 23, 2020 edition of New UK.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
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