Escaping An Emotionally Abusive Relationship
Bona|October 2019
Physical assault is not the only way in which your partner can abuse you. But, how do you spot the signs of emotional abuse? By
Nolwazi Tusini

When Azola Mthimkhulu* met her boyfriend, she thought he was the man of her dreams. He was generous, kind and attentive. “Everything was great. We went to nice restaurants, and he would call every day to check on me. It also seemed as if he cared about my son because he asked about him whenever he called,” she says. Six months into the year-long relationship, her dream turned into a nightmare. Her boyfriend became increasingly restrictive. “He started being really controlling,” she says. “When we went out for dinner, he would order for us. He didn’t want me to speak to the waiter because they were male.” Although she knew better and had been an advocate for women to walk away from abusive situations, Azola found herself unable to take her own advice. “It’s actually scary. I always said to women on Twitter: ‘don’t stay, leave.’ Now it was happening to me, and I couldn’t,” she says.

THE SIGNS

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