Crossing The Line
Newsweek|August 30, 2019

When a collegial relationship goes too far, how— and when—does a victim speak out?

Donna Freitas
Crossing The Line

DR. DONNA FREITAS IS A TITLE IX researcher and lecturer about consent at universities. In this excerpt from her memoir, Consent: A Memoir of Unwanted Attention, she recounts how she was harassed and stalked in graduate school by the professor and priest who she had originally thought would become her mentor and dissertation director. She also shows how essential it is for the conversation to continue about what consent is and how complicated consent can become in a relationship between student and professor—or in the workplace with one’s boss.

Freitas’ memoir describes what began as a collegial relationship, where she was initially flattered by her professor’s attention for her work. Then it went bad—escalating into increasingly inappropriate, even sinister, behavior. Eventually, he was sending her numerous letters daily; regularly calling her at home and work; and showing up uninvited at her apartment, where she found him peeking in her window. He pressed her to attend plays and weekend retreats. Father L.—to this day, she won’t say his name—repeatedly asked her for feedback about an article he wrote about a priest who had an affair with a much younger woman, tried to kiss her and even started corresponding with Freitas’ dying mother.

The abuse Freitas suffered was emotional, a constant encroachment on her physical space. While Father L. never directly asked or pressured Freitas for sex, her professional future was directly tied to his approval—he taught many of the required courses in her program, and his participation was essential for her success in earning her doctoral thesis and to her future job searches.

This story is from the August 30, 2019 edition of Newsweek.

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This story is from the August 30, 2019 edition of Newsweek.

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