Be the woman you were BORN TO BE

If you've ever struggled with self-acceptance or limiting beliefs, here's proof you can change the course of your life

- KIM WILLS

Emily Bettdur, 40, is an occupational therapist and life coach who's married to Michelle, 39. They live with her son, 13, Michelle's son, 12, and Michelle's daughter, nine.

I was raised in a Catholic, conservative household, and had no real exposure to homosexuality growing up, beyond my parents' belief that it was 'not what God intended'.

Marriage, in their eyes, was between a man and a woman, so I grew up with a quiet, unquestioned sense of what I was supposed to do. At 18, I met the man I thought would be my forever person. He noticed that I often commented on other women's attractiveness and one day he asked if I might be bisexual. I was taken aback and immediately defensive but the question stayed with me. Was I attracted to women? Could I kiss a woman? I was curious, but I brushed it off.

Feeling divided

We had been together for three and a half years when we married in 2007 and began building a life together. The curiosity about being with a woman grew, quietly but persistently. Still, it felt like something that could only ever exist as a fantasy, never a reality. I would kiss girlfriends in a jokey way at parties. It led to one affair with a woman, which I ended to prioritise being with my husband and starting a family.

Six years into our marriage our son was born. I couldn't ignore my desire to be with a woman. I began to feel like two different people. I was a wife and mum, but being with my husband wasn't enough. It put a strain on our relationship. In 2018 we decided to divorce and sold our house, choosing to live near each other so we could co-parent our son, who was five at the time. He was too young for complex explanations, so I simply told him that one day Daddy might have a girlfriend, and Mummy might have a girlfriend too.