It's not the marathon I can't stand, it's the endless social media bragging beforehand

THE email arrives earlier every year. Somewhere between readers kindly pointing out a typo in yesterday’s newsletter (I still wake up in cold sweats thinking about “guiltedged”) and PRs breathlessly informing me that one-in-four British couples disagree over room temperature, it reads: “We have some spaces for the London marathon. Would you like one? First come, first served.”

- Jack Kessler

Phew. It’s not a Vietnam War-style draft, then.

To be clear, I have no ideological aversion to other people running long distances for charity. I’ve made generous (got to be your own PR these days) donations to friends racing for a multitude of good causes on Sunday. And I’m happy to. Besides, I’d rather pay for people I like to be in gut-wrenching pain around mile 23 than be asked to contribute to a sponsored skydive or because someone is climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. I’m not going to pay for you to do something fun.

The issue isn’t the race itself, but the months of Strava screenshots that precede it. Throughout the winter, social media is plastered with squiggly orange lines of practice runs alongside suspiciously curated selfies and self-deprecating statements about how they’re not sure they can do it.