In praise of vanity

As they age, Indian women are expected to recede into the background and abandon the pursuit of beauty. Curious about her mother’s renewed obsession with her image on the internet, ANKITA SHAH speaks to others who have thrown caution—and custom—to the wind

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My mother wants pictures everywhere. Next to statues, fountains, blooming trees, against the royal blue curtain hung specifically for contrast. On the couch, when relatives gather for a festival, with every possible permutation and combination of human being, pose and angle. When she boards a flight, as the sky unfurls peaches and purples outside the cabin window. Then again after she lands, right in front of the board that says: this is a defence airport and photography is strictly prohibited.

My mother’s obsession with photos annoyed me at first. Even embarrassed me. Now, it intrigues me. Who is this wom-illing to break the rules, pulling everyone to dance with her, visiting every new park that opens around the corner, making plans for sleepovers—doing things she never did in the thirty years I've known her?

At fifty, my quiet, reserved mother wears a new identity. It’s hard to tell if the photo is the catalyst or the keepsake of who she is becoming. Yet, this transformation is not unique to her.

Since selfie culture emerged in the early 2000s, women’s self-documentation has evolved and been scrutinised, revealing a double standard. From cave paintings to Renaissance portraits, humans have always captured their own image. Yet when women do so, they're swiftly branded as vain. Which raises the question my mother’s photos force me to consider: who decided vanity is bad?

Sangeeta Punamiya, 57, helps me look deeper at her photographs. She stands apart in the trio with Rasila Vyas, 51, and Nivedita Chaudhari, 53. While all three obsessively document their gatherings, it’s only Vyas and Chaudhari who post online, as Punamiya isn’t on social media. Why take pictures, then? “When I’m around them, I just feel more beautiful. I can guarantee that I have never looked better than in my pictures with them.”