MEMENTO Mori

JEWELRY can be deeply PERSONAL. LEAH CHERNIKOFF reflects on a NECKLACE that represents LIFE and LOSS.

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Every day, I wear the same necklace. It's a gold chain with a charm on it: the letter A in blue enamel for my first child, Adar, who is now almost 7. When I gave birth to my second child this past summer, I went to pick out a matching charm to add to the necklace, an N for Naomi. Something about it felt off, though.

In the six years that passed between having my first and second child, I experienced four losses. Some I experienced early in pregnancy, within the first trimester; some happened later. I found out about one loss when I went in for my anatomy scan, which occurs at 20 weeks.

When I thought about wearing this necklace every day with these two charms to represent my two children who lived, it felt too tidy, almost disingenuous. The items we wear tell our stories, and I wanted mine to feel more honest.

Jewelry often marks joyful milestones like engagements, marriages, graduations, and anniversaries. But what about life's painful but no less monumental and transformative moments? The losses and tragedies can shape our lives more distinctly than the happier occasions.

To be sure, throughout time and across cultures, jewelry has been used to remember loved ones or symbolize the inevitability of death. Mourning jewelry surged in popularity in Western culture during the Victorian era, and while it has its collectors and aficionados, it is often seen as a quirk of a bygone era, particularly the pieces that incorporated braided locks of hair from the deceased.