Love AGAINST THE ODDS

Meet three couples whose relationships are thriving despite significant hurdles

- STEPHANIE CLARKSON

‘WHAT THE MILITARY SAYS GOES’

Stacey Flinn, 38, an NHS medical secretary, and her husband Paul, 41, an Army warrant officer live in County Durham with their son Bear, nine. The couple have been married for 14 years. Although we’ve been a couple for 20 years, we’ve probably only spent four or five of those together. Paul’s been in the Armed Forces for 22 years, and we’ve had long periods of separation since we first met. He’s stationed at the other end of the country – in Salisbury – during the week and has been abroad on several tours of duty lasting between nine and 12 months each.

People ask how I manage, but you get used to it. You have to because whatever the military says goes. If Paul’s presence is required, then that’s what’s happening, no matter how long we might have had something penned in our personal diary. He even had to write a letter to ask for one day off to get married.

So many times, things we’ve been looking forward to, like holidays or family events, have had to be postponed or cancelled. It makes it difficult to plan anything. Once, just two weeks before a dream trip to New York, Paul was posted to Afghanistan. It was devastating, but there was no getting around it.

I’ve had to toughen up and learn to just live my life, not sit around moping. I’m a busy mum with a full-time role in the NHS, working in the mental health sector, which is hectic and demanding.