Sex Q+A

Honest answers to your most private questions.

- Julie Vadnal

I’ve masturbated a few times – but I’m not sure whether I’ve ever orgasmed. How will I know?

A Allow us to whip out some textbook speak: an orgasm is defined as involuntary muscle contractions that cause a release of sexual tension in and around the genitals. In the lead-up to one, you’ll typically notice your heart beating faster and your breathing getting heavier; you might even feel your clitoris swell up. Relax and go with the sensations. ‘It’s easy to focus so much on orgasming that you psych yourself out of having one,’ says sex and relationship expert Logan Levkoff. If you enjoy the ride, a climax will be more likely to arrive.

Is it gross to go down on my guy after he’s been inside me?

A Depends on your definition of gross. In terms of your health, getting vaginal matter in your mouth (even if you have a yeast or bacterial infection) doesn’t pose a risk, says gynaecologist Sherry Ross, author of