I WAS THE gifted kid AND IT ALMOST BROKE ME

What happens when being the best is your entire identity? One GL girl shares how “perfect” became a label she couldn't live up to.

- 

"Your daughter is gifted," my teacher said. I was 5, about to start kindergarten. I paused from yanking at my pigtails and glanced way up to see my parents beaming at that one word: gifted.

Almost instantly, "gifted" became my label. Throughout elementary school, I attended an accelerated class three times a week. By middle school, I spent nearly all my time in the school's gifted center. Science projects came together with ease, math problems were solved in seconds and my English papers practically wrote themselves. Above average, beyond smart, clever girl-those were my ABCs growing up.

I received endless praise for being intelligent, and I clung to it like my life depended on it. Soon, I didn't just want to be the smart one-I needed to be.

My academic performance fueled my confidence, self-esteem and even my personality.

Saturday night sleepovers with friends? I couldn't-I had to cram for the history final next month. Ice cream with the robotics team? No thanks, I'd rather sharpen my skills before the next competition. Hanging out with my best friend? Only if it involved quizzing each other on vocab terms.

By high school, I was no longer at one of the top schools in the district-I was at one of the top schools in the country. The stakes rose even higher.

My desk became buried in piles of notes and coffee rings as school shifted from a place to learn to a place to win.

Win the history fair, win the top grades, win the approval of my teachers and parents.