Some signings turn out to be so bad they are unwittingly the most entertaining thing on the pitch
![For Your Amusement](https://magarticles.magzter.com/articles/2645/245071/5a01965922add/For-Your-Amusement.jpeg)
There are rare moments in football when all the crowd’s bubbling frustration and frothing rage is transmuted into pure gold by the magic of a single man. Usually it requires impudent talent or sublime skill to effect the change, but every once in a while there comes one of those truly precious afternoons when a player produces a display of such fathomlessly cockeyed ineptitude he turns a rock face of jeering and scornful humanity into a happy, chortling and childlike jelly. This month I was privileged to be part of such scenes.
In the close season the home team had plucked a young striker from way down the pyramid. The manager had hailed his new signing as “the answer to our goal-scoring problems”. Watching him on his debut a friend concluded that this lad was not the answer, and that any goal scoring conundrums the club had would not have taxed a contestant on the opening round of an afternoon quiz show. “He seems to be made out of knees,” he said. Questioned on his pace and mobility he responded: “Well, put it this way, there’s moss growing on his north facing side.”
And so I went to see what the lack of fuss was all about. The new striker is a tall, rawboned, floppy haired lad with a head like a Dutch cheese and a tongue that protrudes when he’s thinking. He looks like the sort of big-hearted peasant who in a French film would work a double shift emptying septic tanks in the rain while the boss was round his house impregnating his fiancée.
この記事は When Saturday Comes の November 2017 版に掲載されています。
7 日間の Magzter GOLD 無料トライアルを開始して、何千もの厳選されたプレミアム ストーリー、9,000 以上の雑誌や新聞にアクセスしてください。
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この記事は When Saturday Comes の November 2017 版に掲載されています。
7 日間の Magzter GOLD 無料トライアルを開始して、何千もの厳選されたプレミアム ストーリー、9,000 以上の雑誌や新聞にアクセスしてください。
すでに購読者です? サインイン
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Pirate Transmission
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The decision to walk off in the face of abuse has shone a national spotlight on a community club with a progressive approach
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Hampden Park
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ARSENAL FILM
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