Let's Talk About Sex, Baby

If it’s been a bit lacklustre between the sheets lately, it may be time to talk to your husband about taking your sex life from all right to all night

When we talk about finding happiness, topics that come to mind may include personal fulfilment, self-care, positive thinking, embracing chaos and living in the present. However, there is something that is often left out of the discussion – sex.

Psychotherapist Jean Chen, director at Relationship Matters, has seen first-hand how a reluctance to talk about sex can lead to issues in the bedroom. According to her, sex issues are so often at the core of unhappy marriages, heartbreak, and overall unhappiness in general.

Problems in this realm are incredibly common. However, bringing up topics like body shame, inability to climax, poor performance or total lack of sex isn’t exactly fitting for any casual conversation. So, people shy away from such topics and assume that everyone else’s sex lives are just fine.

COMFORT ZONE

Sex is a normal part of being human. An enjoyable sex life is said to be strongly correlated to a good relationship, and good relationships make us happy. Sex also has the ability to release hormones that increase intimacy and bonding, and improve mood, immunity and overall health.

At the same time, it can help decrease feelings of loneliness and depression, and boost confidence and enhance quality of life. The calorie burn can even make it a great form of exercise. Asian attitudes towards sex tend to be more conservative, and that can make us ill-informed when making choices about sexuality and relationships. Nonetheless, Jean explains that the situation isn’t as dire as it seems.

“I would think that, in general, it’s harder to talk about sex in Asia,” she says. “But truth be told, it’s just socially more difficult to talk about sex in public over here. Privately, I believe that couples are much more open about the state of their sex life and talk about it as much as Westerners do.”

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