Put your own house in order, Mr Speaker

MAYBE, like me, you thought the Speaker of the House of Commons' job description was spelled out in the title? That their primary purpose was to preside over procedure, bark "Order!", quell mutiny and nuke bad manners with the soothing authority of their presence?

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Readers, I’d suggest that injecting a touch of gravitas by sitting on a large chair in the H of C and raising your eyebrows when humour verges on the unsuitable is all we require from the Speaker.

We don’t need or want them to globe-trot business class to the world’s priciest flesh-pots with two or three aides (also in business class), reside in five-star splendour in magnificent hotels or munch so much Chinese chow in Canberra they bill us £300 for a major blow-out at Wild Duck.