What I Learned in Breakup School

New programs claim to help you heal faster (and smarter). But do they live up to the hype?

- KAYLA KIBBE

I don't like to brag, but I get broken up with a lot. And while I already consider myself an expert in this unique form of misery, true expertise means knowing there's always room for improvement. Cue: this past summer, when my ex dumped me after a year together and I decided to pack my emotional baggage and head off to heartbreak class. Virtually, that is.

Surprisingly or, you know, maybe not so surprisingly in an age when there's an app for everything I had options. There is No Contact Rule, which focuses on detoxing from an ex, and Rx Breakup, which digs into the psychology of it all. Plus the pep-talk-driven Break-Up Boss. But after some more research, I chose Mend. Developed by wellness and mental health experts, its self-guided heartbreak course consists of more than 390 audio training sessions that address every aspect of a split. (Don't worry, each is only a few minutes long, and you can go at your own pace.) All lessons end with a journal prompt, and you get access to a Slack workspace to connect with hundreds of fellow Menders.

Still, at $275 for the full program, it's a bit of a, um, commitment, to say the least. I wanted to make sure I knew what I was getting into, so I asked psychotherapist Daniela Tempesta, a former Mend contributor, and course developer, for some insider insight. She told me she frequently recommends Mend to clients navigating a breakup, explaining that in addition to providing a 24/7 source of support that's "essential in reducing feelings of isolation," the program also gives users the tools they need to establish a healthier romantic future.

That was enough to make me cautiously optimistic. Plus, as a Pisces, there are few things I love more than talking about my feelings which I'm about to do a whole lot more of because it turns out breakup school was totally worth it. Here are the takeaways I'm still carrying with me.

Lesson 1