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He struggled for a year not understanding he was depressed

The Straits Times

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November 09, 2024

In the kitchen of Mr Reshiivarma's family home, there used to be a small space between the dining table and the washing machine that he would often retreat to after school.

- Joyce TeoSenior Health Correspondent

He struggled for a year not understanding he was depressed

Those dark days, beginning in late 2018, never seemed to end. His mother, Madam Krishnaveni, would often find him hiding there - her once-cheerful son swaddled in a thickening fog of sadness.

The then 18-year-old student at the Institute of Technical Education (ITE) would say little, except to tell her from time to time: "I want to die, I want to die."

His family could not comprehend his despair. It was only several months later that he revealed to his mother that he had been bullied since he was in secondary school and now at work, and was struggling to cope.

But for more than a year, he did not get help because neither he nor his parents knew how truly affected he was.

Mr Reshii's story points to a broader reality. In 2023, the National University of Singapore Youth Epidemiology and Resilience study found that only about one in 10 parents observed mental health symptoms in their children, even though one in three adolescents aged 10 to 18 reported such symptoms to the survey.

Youth mental health has been in the spotlight in recent years, with a significant number of young people affected by not just traditional stressors like academic stress, but also new risks like cyberbullying and social media addiction.

Mr Reshii's family thought he was stressed, like any other young person in school. His sister, a decade older, was working overseas, so it was just him at home with his parents, who told him not to be so hard on himself.

In the beginning, he too wondered why he was coping so badly.

"I just felt overwhelmed by everything: school, work, and trying to live up to societal expectations. I had always been a high achiever, and I thought that was normal for me. But as the pressure built, I started to feel like I was drowning," said Mr Reshii, now 24.

"Some days, I wished a car would just hit me... so that I would not feel so much pain in my head," he said.

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