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The Reason We Still Fall For This Effed-Up Love Myth
Cosmopolitan - South Africa
|December 2018
It sounds obvious, but you should date someone who makes you feel good about yourself. Yet all too often, women ignore off -colour remarks or actions from a man because he’s goodlooking, charming, funny or great in bed. Well, he can be all those things and still be a jerk. Does he listen to you? Does he respect your feelings? Or does he flirt with you on Friday, then ignore you on Saturday?
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‘We’re trained to be attracted to meanness,’ says Whitney Wolfe Herd, who started the dating app Bumble to try to change this. ‘Watch any Disney show: the little boy is mean to the little girl because he has a crazy crush on her. Then he goes home and writes her love letters at night.’ Or consider the cliché fairy tale of a young woman falling for the beast because only her love can transform him into a prince.
‘The challenge is that what we tend to see first in a potential mate is confidence,’ says psychologist W Keith Campbell, coauthor of
Cette histoire est tirée de l'édition December 2018 de Cosmopolitan - South Africa.
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