Like physical health that requires regular care to ensure well-being, it takes effort to ensure a healthy marriage. Malaysian couples are increasingly realising that maintaining a successful marriage requires consistent effort, awareness of one’s words and actions—and marriage counselling.
Counselling is no longer just the premise of newlyweds and couples whose relationships are in trouble. A new breed of husbands and wives are visiting marriage counsellors to ensure the “I do” in their marriage doesn’t deteriorate into “I don’t” by seeking advice from them before a breakdown occurs.
With the awareness that marriages can end as soon as they begin (35.3% of couples in Malaysia got divorced due to “incompatibility” according to The Fifth Malaysian Population and Family Survey 2014 conducted by the National Population and Family Development Board), couples entering into marriage these days know that even happy relationships are vulnerable to the challenges of living together.
Inspired by the adage “prevention is better than cure,” a number of couples are taking matters into their own hands to ensure their marriages stay healthy by visiting their counsellor regularly for certain periods (just as you would visit your doctor for health check-ups or a fitness instructor for regular exercise).
Unlike couples in the past who would seek help only when there was something wrong, the modern day couple sees no shame in learning to achieve a better marriage. In their bid to ensure their marriages don’t break down, couples are now investing time and effort in building their relationship. They are aware that keeping the marriage bonds healthy requires more than giddy infatuation—it requires effort and hard work.
This train of thought is echoed by Dr Yeo Pei Lin, a therapist from Rekindle Centre for Systemic Therapy, Kuala Lumpur, (Systemic Therapy is a form of family therapy that focuses on understanding the system the individuals are in rather than concentrating on the individual alone) who says, “Love in marriage takes hard work.”
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Esta historia es de la edición February 2017 de Marie Claire Malaysia.
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