How To Make A Big Change

Feeling stuck—in your career, in your life, or in general— and don’t know how to move forward? Meet the Lighthouse Method.

- Stacy Kim

VALERIE HAD WORKED her entire life to become a scientist. She had survived a whittling-down process and was on a path she thought she wanted. Yet as she approached securing tenure as a college professor in New York City, she didn’t feel satisfied.

One day it struck her that her colleagues actually enjoyed parts of their job that she didn’t care for. “I didn’t want to be spending all my time and energy presenting or making a name for myself through publishing and politicking,” she said. “It was exhausting keeping up a facade pretending to want this career.”

As a life coach, I help talented and caring women successfully juggle careers, families, and relationships. I’ve met a surprising number of women like Valerie (I’ve omitted her last name to respect her privacy). They have successful careers and are active in their communities. But below the surface, something is missing. They struggle to uncover what could give them fulfillment. Some get frustrated that they can’t figure out what they want on their own. Others feel guilty. By the time they meet me, many need tissues during our first session.

When I opened my practice, I didn’t know how to help these women. The usual weapons in a coach’s arsenal— creating a vision, making a plan, setting goals, and staying accountable—didn’t apply. After all, how can you set goals for an unknown objective?

I was stumped.