A Foster Home Gave Me Hope

For Lora Shinn, who spent much of her childhood isolated and fearful, the new routines and small kindnesses of her foster family were utterly eye-opening. This is how she discovered the person she wanted to be— and became a mother she could be proud of.

WHAT’S THIS?” MY FATHER YELLED AS he entered my room. He waved a postcard from the library in my face. I was an avid reader—as a homeschooled 11-year-old in a small town, I didn’t have much else to do. The postcard stated that The Life of Jesus was overdue.

“I didn’t check it out,” I said, my voice rising with panic. “I would never check out a book about Jesus. Ever.”

He lowered his voice to a whisper and said, “Read that crap and I’ll whup you up one side of the house and down the other.” I nodded solemnly, pretending I didn’t have The Life of Jesus under my bed at that very moment. I’d been curious why my father thought Jesus was so terrible. Turned out he wasn’t, at least according to the book. My father just hated church people.

A year later, I sat in a church pew. The woman next to me raised her hand and swayed, her eyes closed. My foster sisters, my foster brother, and I shared a cream-colored Bible, petal-thin pages in our hands.

IN THE UNITED STATES, more than 400,000 kids live in foster care. Usually prompted by parental abuse or neglect, removal from their homes may not be optimal for children, but moving in with a stranger can give kids a new shot at understanding how family is supposed to work—without yelling, hitting, and neglect. We’ve all heard stories where foster homes are frightening—but the vast majority are calm, safe, and loving. It’s a chance to live someplace where the day-to-day is a bit easier. That was certainly the case for me.

My stay-at-home father ran our double-wide like he was the leader of an isolated cult. His philosophy was as inconsistent as it was cruel, reinforced with slaps and punches, focused on control and sexual access to me. My mother was at work a lot; she wasn’t the presence my father was.