Good news, BAD NEWS

Clare’s expecting, but what does Graham want?

- Rosie x

''The big news this week is about Ben and Clare, who are the youngest volunteers in our charity shop. You might remember that they became an item after meeting in the shop (how very oldfashioned: have they never heard of internet dating?) and eventually married.

‘Isn’t it wonderful news?’ said Wendy as we both stood next to the counter, trying to look helpful.

‘Yes, wonderful,’ I agreed.

‘Wonderful,’ said Wendy. ‘It makes me quite nostalgic.’

‘Mmm, wonderful. Wait a minute, weren’t you dreadfully sick all the time?’

‘A little bit, yes.’

And wasn’t your blood pressure terribly high at one point?’

Wendy sighed. ‘Yes, but apart from feeling terribly sick and apart from the high blood pressure – and it really wasn’t that high – and apart from my craving for tuna and banana sandwiches, the thought of which still makes me feel slightly ill, I really enjoyed being pregnant.’

‘How is Clare getting on?’

‘Early days of course, but apparently she’s fine.’

We both sighed. The other big news is that Ben has found himself a proper job, and is now deputy assistant undermanager, or something, at a supermarket. This is in addition to his vintage clothes business.