My Wife Became My Husband

This is the story of how Tiffany Grimes fell in love with Dade Barlow—twice.

- Kira Agass

‘Telling her was the hardest thing’

Dade Barlow, 35, says:

In our kitchen we have an ornament that says: ‘Remember, as far as anyone knows, we are a NORMAL family.’ It makes me chuckle whenever I see it. You see, while my wife Tiffany and I might look like any other couple, our love story is a little unconventional. The truth is, we’ve been married twice – both times to each other, but once in a same-sex ceremony as wife and wife. Then, two years later, we said ‘I do’ again – after I transitioned from a woman to a man.

I was four when I first realised I wasn’t like other girls my age. I wanted my hair short and even told people I was a boy. My heavily religious family dismissed it, but as much as I tried to bury the way I felt, I was battling feelings I didn’t understand.

I got married at 18 to a man, but there was still something niggling at me – and part of it was that I was attracted to women. Finally aged 25, I found the courage to file for divorce. My family weren’t happy and I was forced to move away, leaving them and the religion behind.

I started my own electrical engineering business, but although I was happy, I was lonely. That’s why in September 2008 I posted an advert on the website Craigslist looking for people who enjoyed hiking, like me. A woman called Tiffany replied. We started dating and from then on we were inseparable.